Carl Morrison

just asked a homeless woman if I could take her home. she smiled and said yes. shoulda seen the look on her face when I ran off with her cardboard box. 1-0 carl.

just went for a naked run. locals reported a python. cant do fuk all right. cheers

asked mate to come pub. he said hes morning. i said its afternoon. cheers

@barrystantonGBP morning barry an fuck cyclist. cheers

nippa told me theres nearly 8 billyun peepol on this planit. he said too many are foren. gave him biscuit and said can stay up for extra hour tonite. cheers

@barrystantonGBP bang on baz

heering news of woman liz in charge of this country. almost collapse in state of shock. dark times ahead for uk aslong as women runnin things.

@barrystantonGBP weve failed as cuntry theres foren on are roads

just seen arab number plate in uk. feel sick. suspishuns rise. got infront of him and slammed breaks. crashes into me. claiming off him. cheers

@jasonforbes1969 cheers mucka

@CarlMorrison67 mite not be proudest fap but notin to feel guilty bout carl mate

heard neighbours shaggin last night. screaming an head board banging for hours. turns out was elderly mum fell off bed cracked her head. was hitting the wall with her walkin stick for help. feel guilty about the wank now. cheers

watchin boxin in local last night. made me think of myself back in day. flashbacks. started feelin a punch up. started on weasel behind bar. dropped him in 1. nutted frooty on way out. cheers

@barrystantonGBP took familee up ther on weekend. 2 star hotel was luvly baz. when mrs and kids were kippin I tried local strippers. gorgus. cheers

drugs still in system from weekend. crashed on way work. fell asleep at wheel. smashed inta mosque. mus be me lucky day came away no injury. cheers

@MrNotInTheKnow1 mus b thinkin of sumone else pal.

@CarlMorrison67 Harsh Carl considering how many rolls you have

just seen yungest using roll on. gave him clip round ear and booted him out. said fuck off up ur nans. cheers

new bird on site. fit. see hose pipe. see chance. spray her. shes wet. nips poppin thru top. result. boys lovin it. cheers

@barrystantonGBP nippa just said common baz w. cheers

@Davotelli______ no pal. cheers

in car. mrs put air con on. slapped wrist an turned it off. told her use windows and breathe fresh british air. cheers

been of tweeter fora week. phone was in pig station for check over. all clear. feet up watchin man v food. sippin room temp carlin. cheers