Carl

My new favourite pass time is sitting on the beach getting drunk and listening to the Harry Potter audio books

Fuck Beyonce Gwen McCrae is the real queen

When Bon Scott was singing no stop signs speed limits was he just talking about driving in Germany?

I use to work at a pub that did karaoke every week and this random guy wanted to sing a song with me and I told him I'd only sing don't go breaking my heart by Elton John only if he would be kiki Dee and I could be Elton

If you don't like this song its only because you are not ready for love

Even tho Elton John has so many good song I have to say that are you ready for love has to be his best song it's a pure fucking tune open.spotify.com/track/3D15FZXm…

Even tho I have very small balls love listening to this song open.spotify.com/track/2KmSnPWW…

Blue and Elton John singing sorry seems to be the hardest word is one of the greatest music get together of all time

If you disagree your just wrong every song and this album is just on point #StevieNicks I love you

Don't you just love Fleetwood Mac Stevie nicks is just the best women of all time i would die for her #rumoursisthebestalbumofalltime

I have to say it but Hold the line is so much better than Africa #Toto

For some reason it seems like everyone in Italy is obsessed with Dire Straits everywhere I go I allways hear a song by them

Don't you think being hit by a ducks beak would hurt like fuck don't even want to think what a swan could do #birdsareevil

I finally understand why my mum drinks wine but I still can't understand why she beats me

@robbusblobbus Your that teacher who thinks he is really cool and funny when really all your students just think your a massive twat. You have become Mr Gamble

i was observing a year 7 maths lesson yesterday involving a codebreaker with a joke ('how do you wake up lady gaga? you poker face') and the teacher was like hmm maybe that is a little before your time... at which point i realised that song came out THE YEAR THEY WERE BORN. AAAAA

My only friend is a man named Mario who dose not understand a word I say

Having an espresso after a meal in a restaurant is one of the best things ever

If you listen to any music by Rolf Harris all his songs are about fucking little kids how did no one see this.

@robbusblobbus You would never have this problem in Italy

at my layover in Paris and i thought i might be a wanker and have a glass of wine but there is NOWHERE selling it. in PARIS. im going home

Whenever I even hear the name bee Movie it makes my blood boil full of Lies