you shoulda never called me a fat ass kelly price

They’re out of mild sauce at @tacobell and I told them that I’m gonna kill myself.

All I know is…y’all better give them people their fucking baby back.

I LITERALLY haven’t said anything other than “mmmhmm” in the past 14 minutes on the phone with my uncle. He’s still creating new topics.

I love blackened tenders from @Popeyes so much.

I done got so drunk. I decided I’m Italian instead of Mexican today. Happy Cinco de Mayo.

“Get here now” is INSANE. 🫢

I wasn’t gonna eat no popeyes today but i’m fucked up about my girl

The falafel from sausage party cheated?! If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times…if niggas ain’t got shit else, they got the fucking WHAT?!

Two happy meals being $13 is egregious.

Unless they need some shoesssss…down the street from they uncle.

I suck at flirting. Men be like “you’re so pretty” and I say “Well I look like my daddy, so you must like boys!!”

Let’s all pray for my mommy, she’s having surgery today. 🥹

Everybody getting sat down this summer. Couldn’t be me.

My mommy: calls to complain her phone is running slow. Also my mommy: has 501 tabs open on safari.

Big Elly.

I’m such a mommy’s girl. It’s fucking ridiculous.

On my balcony. Drunk. Eating chicky. Singing @JesseMcCartney at the top of my lungs. It quite literally doesn’t get any better.

In today’s episode of Shit My Uncle Says: “don’t fuckin think the tree don’t fall too far from the three”

Like ten minutes ago I asked God for a CLEAR sign to not do something. I jokingly said to myself “watch the power go out or some shit”. Whyyyyyyy did my power just off and come right back on? Oh.

I sit on my balcony and say “hi” to people who are walking outside and some of them don’t say anything back and it hurts my feelings.