Carter Deering

Travis Kelce looked less than enthused

Today is the most important day America has faced since 1776. How important? So important that you have not seen me on this app the last two days. I have instead spent the last 48 hours in a monastic style silence retreat at my riverside time share in Pigeon Forge. I have not eaten or drank any liquids. I have not answered the landline phone that I had installed in the bathroom. I have instead spent that time deep in prayer, asking the Lord to spare America from the evils of a Tyler Swift Super Bowl. I have at times wept openly, thinking of how the 4 months that have passed since Tyler Swift showed up in September to a Chiefs game uninvited and seeking to ride Jason Kelce’s coattails to fame and fortune have been the most perilous for this country since the Cuban Missile Crisis. I have shaken with rage. I have repeatedly punched the wood panel wall and a printed out photo of a Tyler Swift Album. I purchased several of her CDs and chucked them in the communal hot tub. But most of all, I asked the good Lord Jesus to deliver us from evil. To stop the threat of communism now within our borders. To end this long national nightmare. You can love America or you can love Tyler Swift, but you cannot love both. And I choose America. Go Ravens 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸