Casey Clayton

Another day, another $0.79. Amirite ladies.

When I’m governor, we will finally legalize marijuana in Texas and expunge the records of those arrested for marijuana possession.

Sure #MyTwitterAnniversary

When you can’t preorder an iPhone 13 Pro Max using your Apple Card

@MarylandMudflap LUMPKIN

@Laura_Pap where's the Mich Ultra?

How I feel about finishing up wedding 4 of 8 this year.

Standing desks don’t make you skinny they just make your back hurt thank you for coming to my Ted talk

@Laura_Pap don't expose me like this

Well I just left the hospital and there was a patient out front (hospital gown on, IV intact) who downed a tallboy before throwing it in the bushes and that’s the exact energy I need before my vacation.

@CaseyClayton What brows

Meanwhile, me at 16.

Mare of Easttown. That’s the tweet.

@Laura_Pap I will now bombard you with my thoughts bc I can’t get anyone else to watch it

It’s Q2 where’s your update

@Laura_Pap Tell me this has exasperated with the flow.

Guys that complain about sharing their food are the same guys that use all your expensive shampoo.

normalize sex BEFORE dinner! not trynna hold in a fart while I’m folded in half.

@Laura_Pap Omg I didn’t even bitch when I went for work WHO AM I

Can’t wait for Casey’s tweets about how much she loathes Tampa, all while wearing a Bucs hat.

I did not leave Florida for this BS

@caitiedelaney Also fun tho right?!

Y’all, as of today... I have officially lost 50 pounds. It was fuckin hard so I get to do a tweet about it!

Palm Springs’ biggest fan. @KarenKilgariff @MarylandMudflap @kurtbraunholer @flypsp

i just think its funny when dog's eyes just go like

I got a basketball game tomorrow, I got shoe game, I’m a point guard.