rc (rusty chestnut)

🎶I love the way you love me 🎶

i miss my ex wife

MEMPHIS MAN ARRESTED AFTER TRYING TO TRADE HIS WIFE FOR A USED BASS BOAT AND $400 (PLUS A LITTLE SOMETHING TO SWEETEN THE DEAL) MEMPHIS, TN — Because apparently Craigslist was down, a 54-year-old Memphis man wandered into Bass Pro Shops on Tuesday morning and attempted to negotiate what he confidently described as a “fair market trade”: his wife of 23 years… for a slightly questionable 14-foot aluminum fishing boat and $400 cash. Authorities say Ronnie Buckley-Jenkins approached the boat counter at exactly 11:14 a.m. (because of course he did), pointed at a boat priced at $4,200, and asked, “What would it take to walk outta here with that one?” When the associate gave him the price, Ronnie countered with a package deal that included: His wife, Denise $400 cash A bag of frozen catfish “to close the deal” Bold strategy. Shockingly, the employee did not immediately ring it up. Ronnie then stood at the counter for 41 minutes… just marinating in confidence. During that time, he presented a printed document titled “WIFE-FOR-BOAT TRANSFER AGREEMENT” (yes, in all caps, because professionalism). Highlights from the masterpiece include: A 14-day return policy (because customer satisfaction matters) A notarization by his cousin… who is absolutely not a notary A “best features” section listing “doesn’t snore” and “can clean a bass” An “as-is condition disclosure,” because we’re keeping things honest A checkbox marked “VERY GENTLY USED” (sir…) Meanwhile, Denise was sitting in the truck outside, completely unaware she had been bundled into a clearance deal next to a boat with a hole in the hull. The Bass Pro employee did what any reasonable human would do: pretended to “check with a manager” and immediately called the police. When deputies arrived, things only got better: Denise reportedly responded with a deeply philosophical, “He WHAT.” Ronnie insisted the trade was “fair market value” The boat… again… had a hole in it The employee was later offered a $50 gift card for surviving the interaction Denise has since filed for divorce, citing what legal experts are now calling “the boat thing.” When asked for comment, Ronnie stood by his decision, stating, “It came with a trolling motor.” Denise, however, offered a slightly different perspective: “I have a job. I have a HOME. I did not sign up to be traded like a dented canoe.” Somewhere in Memphis, a Bass Pro employee is still staring into the middle distance, wondering how their day went from selling fishing gear to rejecting a human barter system straight out of 1823...

BRO WHAT