Parody Mayor Johnson

Chicago violence is spiking again — murders up, shootings up, even cops being targeted more. Chicago police data shows shootings, homicides, and attacks on officers have all risen sharply in the first four months of 2026. - 39% jump in April murders. - 43% increase in officers shot at. As your mayor I'm not trying very hard to bring these numbers down but I'm looking forward to the warm weather.

Please, you want to talk taxes and fees - Welcome to Chicago and Illinois. Trump got nothin compared to us! Bottled Water Tax Checkout Bag Tax Amusement Tax Fountain Soft Drink Tax Hotel Accommodations Tax Ground Transportation Tax Use Tax Uber Rideshare Congestion Surcharge Electricity Use Tax Electricity Infrastructure Maintenance Fee Gas Use Tax Gas Occupation Tax Telecommunications Tax Emergency Telephone System Surcharges (911) Tire Fee Vehicle Fuel Tax Liquid Nicotine Product Tax Personal Property Lease Transaction Tax (PPLTT) Parking Tax Restaurant Tax Liquor Tax Real Property Transfer Tax Cigarette Tax Motor Vehicle Lessor Tax MPEA Airport Departure Tax Boat Mooring Tax Foreign Fire Insurance Tax General Business License Regulated Business License Limited Business License Public Way Use Permits Sign Permits Food truck tax Caterers tax Fees: Base Ground Transportation Tax (GTT) Airport & Special Venue Fees Booting of Motor Vehicles License Pharmaceutical Representative License Massage Establishment License Shared Housing Unit Registration Shared Housing Unit Operator License Commissioner’s Adjustment Application Retail Food Establishment License Liquor License Tobacco License Mobile Food Vendor License Manufacturing Establishment License Entertainment / Public Place of Amusement License Automatic Amusement Device License Motor Vehicle Repair Shop License Public Way Use Permit Sidewalk Cafe Permit Canopy / Awning Permit Outdoor Patio / Seating Permit Health and Safety Inspection Fee Fire Department Inspection Fee Zoning Review Fee Business License Application Fee License Renewal Fee Late Renewal Penalty Did someone say reparations?

Donald Trump makes your property taxes higher.

@kim_chee27 @JBPritzker

@JBPritzker Keep everything out of your mouth

Keep Chicago out of your mouth.

@tiredofitall48 Do they even care, because I think those silly kids do it for fun.

Is there ever that much cash inside these ATM’s that are stolen? Is it worth it?

@Saveourrepubli3 @MaryAnnAhernNBC @paschutz @ChicagosMayor @GovPritzker You're welcome 😊

@MaryAnnAhernNBC @paschutz @ChicagosMayor @GovPritzker Dumb and Dumber Strike again. As a Chicago resident - I'm tired of getting screwed over by both of them.

The feud continues. @chicagosmayor says @govpritzker billionaire status puts him out of touch as the two disagree over efforts to build Chicago Bears stadium in Arlington Heights.

@GodPricker I don't even pay my water bills

@ChiTownCircus Us actual billionaires say “Pez”.

Excuse me that would be Clown Johnson to all of you peasants 🤡

@GodPricker I don't support the police so no comment

@ChiTownCircus Or photo cops?

And I think of cheeseburgers a lot.

@IsIllinois Chicago is a "welcoming city" and we will help them hide, plus give them money

These flights deporting away keep flying !

@Libs_OfChicago But the ones in charge are not and think they're king

It seems as though ppl are paying attention to what is happening in Chicago.

@MissinRoyko I'm the best mayor ever and this is the "safest, most affordable big city in America." At least that's what I tell everyone.

There should be a litmus test for those who vote people like Brandon Johnson into government ……

@Chicago_Goofies The crazy Karen's are everywhere

A man holding a sign that says “Trans women are men” is approached by a woman. She tells him and the woman recording, “Hey, garbage people, why don’t you take your fucking hate to another community? You’re wicked monsters. I’m actually a psychiatric nurse. I will have you committed.”

@Saveourrepubli3 @ChiefWeitzel @BobFiorettiChi @saeileenburke Welcome to the new norm

This madness has to stop! @ChiefWeitzel @BobFiorettiChi @saeileenburke

@Libs_OfChicago Just walked past this one up by Wrigley. Bottom right corner, and I guess he's at least in the shade 🤷

We’ve failed as a nation when the only supposed help for ppl who are homeless/struggling is government intervention at the cost of taxpayers wages. Where are the politicians promising jobs so ppl can better themselves? Everything I hear nowadays is how to steal from others & allow the government to fix the problem.

@em72479 At this pace there will be no stores left on the Mag mile

@ChiTownCircus I do love that folks can get away with shoplifting to the point stores are closing.

Better leadership in Chi will also benefit us downstate!

@REMASCULATE It was only a snack

Looks like someone ATE them

@IsIllinois @CWBChicago The guy who burned the lady on the Blue line had been arrested 72 times

@CWBChicago 60 prior arrests really isn’t that many. Let’s not go to hard on him and his current serious crimes

A man with more than 60 arrests in his past used a 12-inch knife to hijack a CTA bus until the driver bailed out of her window on the Near North Side, prosecutors say. cwbchicago.com/2026/05/man-wi…

Chicago violence is spiking again — murders up, shootings up, even cops being targeted more. Chicago police data shows shootings, homicides, and attacks on officers have all risen sharply in the first four months of 2026. - 39% jump in April murders. - 43% increase in officers shot at. As your mayor I'm not trying very hard to bring these numbers down but I'm looking forward to the warm weather.