Sabitlenmiş Tweet
ME: i saw a guy on the back of a van
FRIEND: ...and?
ME: that's it i guess
English
Chris Stephens
11.7K posts
Chris Stephens
@ChrisStephensMD
I'm a TV writer and I’m also in a sketch group called Butt. @buttguys https://t.co/n3jMr7q2R3
Los Angeles Katılım Şubat 2010
1.1K Takip Edilen6K Takipçiler
nervously trying to explain the one year gap in my resume where I wasn’t masturbating
Joi AI@joi___ai
we’re hiring 10 Masturbation Consultants $2,000/month to test our new Daily Guided Masturbation feature and document the effects on stress, sleep and mood yes it’s real yes you get paid
English
Chris Stephens retweetledi
There’s a scene in Michael where he’s at a toy store and tells a kid in line holding a video game “hey, use fire magic on the first boss, trust me” then there’s another kid holding a basketball and I wanted so bad for him to say to that kid “hey, shoot it in the basket, trust me”
English
Chris Stephens retweetledi
Oh, but when I become racist for money I get nothing. Cool.
TMZ@TMZ
💰 Chud The Builder's fundraiser flooded with donations after attempted murder charges. Take a look: bit.ly/4dJaT5h
English
Chris Stephens retweetledi
Kind of surreal to watch AIPAC flail around in the U.S. trying to deny the systemic sexual assault of Palestinian detainees while Israeli society acknowledges it, defends it, and celebrates it
B.M.@ireallyhateyou
"Do they get to choose, like 'can you use a broomstick?'"
English
Maybe the funniest possible thing a person could have in the background of a video like this.
Brianna Wu@BriannaWu
I’m getting canceled on Twitter for saying this, but it’s still true. Jews and their allies have had their careers destroyed after October 7th.
English
When they do a flashback at the end of a Saw movie to show you Jigsaw was there the whole time.
English
Chris Stephens retweetledi
Chris Stephens retweetledi
Emilio Carranza is the actor who helps Bob find Willa toward the end of OBAA and is a produce vendor at a farmers market in California and has the best little sign on his truck
English
The message of Michael is that Michael Jackson’s father was very abusive and it turned him into a COMPLETELY NORMAL PERSON.
English
TEACHER: the common ant is capable of picking up objects 10 times its own body weight
(ant walks into the classroom and picks up the teacher’s penis)
TEACHER: oh uh… (picks up nearest book and flips to a random page) sorry, I got that number wrong it’s actually a billion times
English
Chris Stephens retweetledi
Chris Stephens retweetledi
My theory is he was about to tweet this picture without a caption then one of this staffers grabbed his phone and quickly wrote this.
U.S. Senator John Fetterman@SenFettermanPA
Feed our busy and hardworking families with real food. Costco’s hot rotisserie — $4.99. We introduced a bipartisan bill to make our SNAP families’ lives a little more affordable + convenient in America. 🇺🇸 fetterman.senate.gov/fetterman-coll…
English
Chris Stephens retweetledi
If any journalists would like to use the video I filmed of my TV the price is $5000.
English