Christopher Douglas

Luxury living for the over-65s. May I trouble you for a cheese scone and another peep at the autopsy report

Nonsense to say that Chalamet's disparaging comments about ballet and opera harmed his Oscar chances. It's how plenty of commercial producers talk.

I notice an increase in the number of wispy little moustaches on upper lips after the success of 'Marty Supreme'. Tempted to say, 'Mate, it looks terrible even on Timothee Chalamet who is several stones lighter than you and doesn't have acne.'

Howdy little 'uns! Hurrah for the start of a new season! Which of these smashers will you be spending your pocket money on? Or will you just spunk it on weed pens and borrow someone else's bat?

BBC Charter Review Public Consultation share.google/9Bt1vsLAzXCchy…

Failed nuclear projects leave households paying 40pc more for electricity telegraph.co.uk/business/2026/…

Important consultation here about the future of the BBC - deadline tomorrow. You don't need to read the Green Paper; the questions are straightforward. It took me about 20 minutes but I wrote A LOT. campaignforthearts.org/reports/a-stag…

As one gets older the Conan Doyle pixie pics story seems to come round more frequently. Probably just an illusion

Why has the Met Office app stopped showing a long-range forecast? Is it a misguided act of mercy or just cost-cutting?

Can't t decide if this is a confounded impertinence or quite funny

When I was at school the Lord of the Flies film (and book) was rather rammed down our throats. This new version is so much more enjoyable, with David McKenna giving one of the perfs of the year as Piggy.

I'm sure I'm not alone in missing the late David Vine whenever crouching, curious imps appear in an opening ceremony

thank you @seankayesmith for drawing attention to this theguardian.com/film/2026/jan/… Wiki says: The filmmaking process was so painfully intense for almost everyone involved that it brought an end to the Holocaust theatre company, and the majority of participants parted ways for good.

Anyone else struggling with the Orwellian monochrome design of the new met office app? Feels like there should be a robotic voice announcing 'expected sky water over sector 41'

@LissaKEvans @jennyeclair And I yours

@Chrishdouglas @jennyeclair I take your point...

Listening to one of Waterstones books of the year - narrator just just rhymed ‘hearth’ with ‘earth’ and now I can’t unclench my jaw!

@LissaKEvans @jennyeclair You would hope so but some are done remotely for sub-living wage rates, and standards are apt to slip further after a twelve hour shift in the under stairs cupboard

@Chrishdouglas @jennyeclair But surely every narrator reads - or at least skim-reads - the book before the recording? Surely that's the opportunity to mark and check any word he or she is unsure of...? Or am I being wildly naive?

@LissaKEvans @jennyeclair pronunciation is the first casualty of a 36p-per-recorded-minute narration fee

@jennyeclair Oh the number of mispronunciations in audiobooks drives me nuts. Nowadays it takes *seconds* to check whether it’s correct or not - if an actor isn’t sure, why don’t they check????

'Waiting for the Out'. Phenomenałly high standards of writing, production and acting. Breathtaking. How on earth did it get through? So good it almost - but not quite - makes 'Amanda and Alan's Greek Job' look frivolous

@alvarprocess You had me at 'linishing'

@Chrishdouglas I don't even know that footpads are.

The Guardian has adopted the Victorian practice of explaining its cartoons. Is it editorial joke phobia or nostalgia? 'Our amusing quipster ventures to suggest novel measures for the repulsion of footpads...'