FromTheMouthOfChuck

Context: Disney World Trip Chuck: “Dad, how many Gs did we pull on Splash Mountain?”

(Picking up Charlie from a play date this evening) Me: Hey pal, did you have fun? Chuck: Yeah, we went sledding and played with crowbars. 🙄

Context: discussing why we gave Charlie his name this morning. “I would have been okay if you’d have named me Clay or Tootsie.”

Charlie: This joke isn’t even funny Me: It’s not a joke, it’s a riddle Charlie: Well it’s not even a good riddle

Stacey “Thomas, no one wants to yell at you on your birthday!” Charlie, while raising his hand: “I will yell at you on your birthday”

Charlie found a cassette tape in the grass today, made Stacey get out of the car as he pointed to it, wide-eyed: “What…is that?” Yes son, we spun our favorite songs with a pencil and prayed the radio DJ wouldn’t talk over the intro.

Watching Rick Astley’s video “Never Gonna Give You Up” as a family and all remarking how young he looks in the video and how deep his voice is. Chuck “when was he born?” Me: “Well the video is from the 80’s” Chuck: “So he’s dead now?”

Watching the NBA Finals (OKC vs Indiana) and there was a Michelob Ultra Zero commercial on and Charlie asked, “Can I have one of those?” I told him, No He said Why not?

Charlie: Hey dad, would you rather have perfect health or 1 million dollars? Me: Charlie, I would rather have perfect health. Charlie: What is Central low on money?

“Mom, what does Trump mean by making America great again? I mean, we already have amusement parks all over this country.” (Exasperated look on his face)

Charlie on the way to school today I know why the cubs are so bad. They have more talent in the stands than they do in the dugout Then he giggled

If Target added go karts and laser tag, they could make millions!

On a road trip, Mom says to Chuck, “your turn to pick a song.” Chuck: “This Girl is on Fire”

Whoever invented maple syrup is a genius

This is how Chuck watches Hoosiers

Charlie: (After turning around and flexing his butt muscles repeatedly for 5 seconds) Hey mom, am I double-jointed?

Charlie: Dad, I farted 36 times yesterday, is that a record? pauses for a minute, "Hey Alexa, what is the record for farts in a day?"

Charlie wanted to post his picks Don't sleep on Samford 🤷🏻‍♂️

C: The NBA keeps getting worse and worse. If I have to explain it, you can't figure it out The nba is less unskilled because college players are joining the league and playing against better players who are already there Stacey and I: Huh? 🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻

C: When you hear the word well, what do you think of next? Stacey: an old person Gabe: Done C: wrong, the answer is. Well, that is stupid