Chumbo

This is something I feel deeply so it must be tweeted. Putting those fuvking star stickers over a pimple ONLY BRINGS MORE ATTENTION TO THE FACT YOU HAVE A PIMPLE! You know what people have? Pimples You know what people never should have? Stars on their face Stop doing that shit

Love a good finagling.

I’m back and using Twitter for fun thoughts. Bruh being a regular at a diner? Huge huge win in life. I’m like two weeks away from them knowing my exact order and BOY DOES IT GET ME HYPE

@kevincella 😂😂😂😂😂this is gold

Algorithm take the wheel

Love a good sock slide across a hardwood floor.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to watch a Top Chef finale and not weep several times

Just because we don’t have the tools to measure it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist

Brass bands never have a sense of humour

@kevincella “My recovery is low, I guess I didn’t fart in my sleep enough lastnight”

Fit bit? More like fart bit, amiright?

No yea I’ll leave. That’s on me

Reading is an important thing to do & that’s not something I’m relearning at 27. You can’t prove that & I won’t ever admit to it. So knock it off & drop it. I’m just reminding you heathens on here to put down your phone & go read a couple pages of a book. Maybe finish it #Jan6

Moroccan Hashish like it's 2013 again life come in circles

@kevincella I know the grill marks are tantalizing ladies, but OUR EYES ARE UP HERE

@kevincella Okay if you get personalized tongs I would also like a pair. And you should be proud of your grill marks!!!!! It’s not easy, and it looks cool af. I took this picture at work and everyone made fun of me but fun fact: LOOK AT THOSE GRILL MARKS!!!!! Maybe it runs in the family

@kevincella Perhaps your boldest tweet my good sir

Im liable to tell my friends "here I come" when they outside, then lay in bed, tweet this, go to the bathroom, then open the door, it's cuz I'm always there at the right time

@HereFor21171084 Gotta let me know you’re not an idiot who made that typo. That was Siri’s bitch ass

*your

Tits are cool and all but ranting about how Mang0 is the goat the kid the buster just for her to say that she researched melee beforehand because you’re friend told her you liked it is way way better