Zorojuro

My favorite part in Jurassic Park is when the little snot nosed bookworm gets shocked with 10,000 volts and falls off the fence

Earl's performance in the "Carl's Wake" Loiter Squad sketch deserved an Emmy

Lmaoo

@MancowMuller it’s hilarious how you talk so much shit, yet you couldn’t fight your way out of a paper bag. You’re softer than baby shit.

It doesn’t take much to simply disappear, does it?

@abekanan I miss you on morning radio. It makes me sad.

When people post fake candid pictures, do they want us to believe that they were really randomly photographed, or do they know that we know it’s bullshit?

*Jose Abreu 30 home run/100 RBI season every year* no reaction. *javy Baez 30 home run/100 RBI season once* Hall of Fame

Having to poop right after a shower = getting brand new shoes and stepping in dog shit.

@Bean_Dip31 Thank god my grandma doesn’t live in Chicago hahaha

@Connorreah I’m calling the city!

Fuck your boat. I spent Memorial Day weekend building a god damn deck.

@Bean_Dip31 I meant a paid a bunch of random dudes from the Home Depot parking lot to do it. They said they were legit

@Connorreah Let’s see your permit!

this tweet aged poorly twitter.com/realdonaldtrum…

Suck a fat baby’s dick

Is a 3 week bout with diarrhea normal? Asking for a friend

That old “Treat Yo Self” Ritual twitter.com/girlposts/stat…

A Lunar Eclipse flat-Earther’s have never seen.

John Fox on questions about his job security: “Frankly, I don’t give a rip.”

Visual representation of what it's like being a Chicago #Bears fan pic.twitter.com/x7KkWuikz8

Fire John Fox #FireJohnFox