The Constitutionalist

Horde of locusts poised to attack State of Firestone, in judgment for crimes against Mayflower people.

Constitutionalist News Service does not report on misadventures of failed capitalist business ventures.

State of Mayflower sees record numbers of tourists flocking border. Authorities overran, explaining lack of reporting.

Mayflower Ministry of State confirms DOJ dullard Eagleye785 is not worth cost of surveillance.

Constitutionalist News Service demands “state-affiliated media” description from Twitter.

Renegade giant squid escaped from Lander Aquarium is wrestled into submission by Comrade TrickNixon. Dosens of schoolchildren saved.

Infamous shouting braggart LordHenryVonHenry warned in strictest terms to keep his meddlesome snout away from Mayflower-Firestone peninsular affairs.

Firestone embassy warned diplomats may not hug Governor TrickNixon, except in comradely way.

Chief Farington saves dozen of children by strangling rampaging polar bear escaped from Lander Zoo.

"MPBS" is Mayflower propaganda network devoted to glorifying exploits of current dictator TrickNixon. Only Constitutionalist News reports objectively on many failings and repressions of TrickNixon junta.

Constitutionalist News delighted to accept position as MEC Trustee.

Whimsical fantasy of Governor Tricknixon criticized for unrealistic optimism and gaiety in describing daily lives of Firestone people.

Former Senator Dribbleware compared to that of insensate vegetable.

Constitutionalist News declares premature death of Sparelockned to be early case of Covid vaccination side effects. Case closed.

@misssam316 @CodeKynan @HarrisonClan76 @marksandspencer @NestleUKI @AldiUK "Every time a customer shops with an M&S Sparks Card, M&S donates 1p to a charity of their choice.".

@Constit_News @CodeKynan @HarrisonClan76 @marksandspencer @NestleUKI @AldiUK Nowhere on their website does it state what you have said, just mentioned about the Macmillan coffee morning donations and the charities associated with the Sparks card in which users choose who their donation goes to.

Our social team over the weekend:

Ministry of Culture national ban on sandals under consideration. "Nobody wants to see your toes."

Bean is national legume of State of Firestone.

@misssam316 @CodeKynan @HarrisonClan76 @marksandspencer @NestleUKI @AldiUK This is not correct. The donation will be made regardless: the Sparks card gives consumers the ability to have a choice in where it goes.

@Constit_News @CodeKynan @HarrisonClan76 @marksandspencer @NestleUKI @AldiUK Google also shows it’s only the limited edition ones! If you use your Sparks card you can PERSONALLY request a donation is made to Macmillan or any of the other charities associated with the card - M&S don’t do it off their own back for everyday purchases

@misssam316 @CodeKynan @HarrisonClan76 @marksandspencer @NestleUKI @AldiUK Google 'MacMillan Colin the Caterpillar'.

@CodeKynan @HarrisonClan76 @marksandspencer @NestleUKI @AldiUK Where did you find that info? Nothing on M&S website stating this? M&S HAVE stated that several other supermarkets are trying to imitate a Colin. Yet they’ve singled Aldi out. No one would go into Aldi thinking it’s M&S

@vcrp @marksandspencer They already have a MacMillan Colin Victoria.

@marksandspencer Well ???? We are waiting ! Tick tock tick tock