Corey Mintz

1.3K posts

Corey Mintz

Corey Mintz

@CoreyMintzComic

Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck. ~Joss Whedon, director of Avengers

Katılım Mart 2012
175 Takip Edilen258 Takipçiler
Corey Mintz retweetledi
Dave Landau
Dave Landau@LandauDave·
Back before I got sober I dated a meth-head. All she ever wanted for Christmas was her 2 front teeth...and all the other ones.
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Dave Landau
Dave Landau@LandauDave·
My friend dated a girl who had multiple personality disorder. Unfortunately all of them had herpes.
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Corey Mintz
Corey Mintz@CoreyMintzComic·
If I'm the smartest guy in the room, then I'm in the wrong room. ~Chad Stahelski (director John Wick)
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Corey Mintz
Corey Mintz@CoreyMintzComic·
Listening to my 14-yro niece explain words like "lit"and "shook" to my mom about the 8th grade dance is about the whitest thing I've seen
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Corey Mintz
Corey Mintz@CoreyMintzComic·
One poz of going from 225lbs down to 175 in 2016? Skinny jeans. The poz of skinny jeans? Ballsack. You want ballsack? Rock skinny jeans
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Tom Tebow
Tom Tebow@IamEvilTebow·
Watching the Pro Bowl makes my dick soft.
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UberFacts
UberFacts@UberFacts·
J.K. Rowling has revealed that before wizards used modern plumbing, they just pooped where they stood and used magic to get rid of it.
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Tom Tebow
Tom Tebow@IamEvilTebow·
When life gives you lemons...Smoke crack!
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UberFacts
UberFacts@UberFacts·
Matthew McConaughey's dad died while having sex with his mom—she insisted that he be carried out of the house naked to show off his manhood.
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chaddaniels
chaddaniels@thatchaddaniels·
Little more marching, little less selfies. We get it. You're the best.
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DJ Dangler
DJ Dangler@DJDangler·
I'll be @LaughsTVShow tonight, looking Reeeaaaaal handsome
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Jesus H Christ!
Jesus H Christ!@ThatBloke_Jesus·
Of course you're entitled to your opinion but it's wrong and you're an idiot
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Corey Mintz
Corey Mintz@CoreyMintzComic·
@carnojoe on this POS when you're one of my top 5 filmmakers. I'd just love to see more classics before I go (2/2)
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Corey Mintz
Corey Mintz@CoreyMintzComic·
@carnojoe As someone with cancer and maybe your biggest fan, I can say you'll look back and realize you've wasted huge amounts of time (1/2)
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