Crazy Ass Lemur

Shut your tits!

I soaked myself in gasoline and have a lighter in my pocket. That way if somebody hands me a bible, I can 'spontaneously' burst into flames.

If procrastination was a class, I'd pass with flying colors.

Whutcho favorite cullah is?

Who lives in a 🍍 under the 🌊?

#TheVoice is trending on Twitter. I see #Merica went back to sleep.

Hold up! I just woke up, I haven't voted yet! #Rosanne2012

🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 RT if you are #TeamObama, favorite if you are #TeamRomney. Let it be known! #Support 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

I NEVER invite fat girls over to my place, it's not that I don't like big girls... It's just, I live in a gingerbread house. #YouKnow

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-thru ATM?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out of its nose?

When a girl flashes her boobs, ppl throw beads and money at her.. but I pull out my dick and everybody gets all weird and uncomfortable.

Can I smell your tits?

Some games on xBox are rated 'M' for mature, that means you have to be 17+ to play.. But if you're a 41yo man playing Halo, that's immature?

I blame our nosey parents/relatives for ruining MySpace, then Facebook. Shh, don't tell them about Twitter.

RETWEET this if you didn't light anybody's head on fire today.

Did YOU know?

How long is a cult considered a 'cult' before society accepts it as mainstream religion?

Circle circle dot dot I do drugs.