Cris

Hey girls with stretch marks, cellulite, skin problems, dark circles, extra skin, body hair, etc You're all normal & perfect angels don't let boys make you feel any different

"You're never going to find another girl like me." Are you kidding me? There's 3.5 billion females on this planet, who the fuck are you? Calm your weave.

Such a tough life for these two.

You’re like a hot hit of dopamine

I'm having a very difficult time lately not replying with complete sarcasm when people say some of the dumbest shit I've ever heard slip past their lips.

Eat her out and make her coffee because that's a Good Morning

“Mine” is full sentence, now make it so

So cats can be fat and hairy and sleep all day but when I do it I’m “a useless member of society” Fuckin alright then.

tired - doing something excellent with my life and being well-regarded for it wired - standing in awe as I watch Jesus do an actual miracle in someone’s life, and sob uncontrollably

Good Morning!!! I like my women like I like my coffee: ready to go on the kitchen counter

I like you, like you.

Good morning!!! If anybody finds my dick in their dms please send it back. I've really got to take a piss

Stop being naked on the internet, you're scaring the dogs.

There’s just too much ass on my TL

* for entertainment purposes only

Good Morning!!! Cris is back.. The voices in my head talk mad shit about me like I'm not even here

Actions may speak louder than words, but actions that MATCH words speak the loudest.

Girls think they’re cool but they can’t helicopter their dick like guys can so..

When a person ıs guilty..They get mad ..Big mad

Nebraska dropped a state slogan in 2019 that was “honestly, it’s not for everyone” and I felt that to my core

If they make feel like the only woman they see, good for you you’re lucky remember that