Tim F

After 17 years, I'm taking a Twitter (not X) break. @elonmusk is a petulant, childish bell-end who shouldn't be in charge of a burger van, let alone a major media brand. If he fucks off or at least shuts the fuck up, I may return. I'm at bsky.app/profile/cultur…

@Nigel_Farage *licence. You've been spending too much time with your American friends.

I have just been invited to appear on Laura Kuenssberg. I’m refusing until the BBC apologises for their dishonest QT audience. Our state broadcaster has behaved like a political actor throughout this election. Reform will be campaigning vigorously to abolish the license fee.

@vintagebooks "insider's searing account" surely. Otherwise it suggests Stewart himself is searing. I suggest Lanacane.

‘BRILLIANT AND BLISTERINGLY FRANK’ OBSERVER The #1 Sunday Times bestseller. A searing insider's account of ten extraordinary years in Parliament from former Cabinet minister and co-host of The Rest Is Politics, Rory Stewart.

@LeeAndersonMP_ Is that a hash brown in there? Not very British. I assume you threw it away, in disgust. What, you didn't? 30p, you cosmopolitan ponce! Next you'll be reciting Symbolist poetry and getting your crack waxed.

Full English Breakfast A great start to the day but how long before some highly educated expert tells us our traditional breakfast is racist? 🍳🥓🌭🍄🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

@NicholasPegg I live in London. She felt distinctly unamusing for a few days.

@prodigalbum Including unobtainium?

@prodigalbum I *think* he was saying that he was refuting the fact of his Jewishness being hijacked to support the occupation, rather than refuting his Jewishness per se.

@AllyFogg Unfortunately my favourite joke rather loses something when written down, but here goes. What did Darth Vader buy in the French bakery? Pain, pain, pain, Tarte tatin, tarte tatin.

It's my birthday. Tell me a joke.

@OsterlohAtLarge (I also enjoy some Wings, esp Silly Love Songs, which I reckon is the best post-Fabs song by any of them, but *not* MoK.)

“… and when you’ve finished singing that awful dirge, Paul, you can come back inside and peel the carrots.”

@OsterlohAtLarge My favourite bit is when Linda gets to within 50 yards, Macca gets up and walks away, because Denny's waiting. Are her sausages that bad?

@RicHolden @Keir_Starmer If you're worried about the political connotations of a piece of music, Richard, I wouldn't be discussing the glories of Wagner...

What piece of classic music is Sir @Keir_Starmer’s favourite… Choose any in the world… A Wesleyan Hymn… some rousing Elgar… a modern American classic… a slice of Wagnerian Opera… And he alights on the EU Anthem… Simultaneously totally naff and completely telling

@chubbybannister Same as here... bsky.app/profile/cultur…

After 17 years, I'm taking a Twitter (not X) break. @elonmusk is a petulant, childish bell-end who shouldn't be in charge of a burger van, let alone a major media brand. If he fucks off or at least shuts the fuck up, I may return. I'm at bsky.app/profile/cultur…

@stevie_chick People who write great songs but their biggest hit is a cover. Marc Almond, Kirsty MacColl, Jeff Buckley...

@Mr_Seaside In your box.

DID YOU MISS ME? No, just to say, I have two invite codes for BlueSky, let me know if you'd care to join.

@IndieChris71 @anon_opin Yes, the roads are hostile to cyclists. So let's deal with that, rather than making the pavements hostile to pedestrians.

@anon_opin I'm not condoning it and I don't do it myself, but we could ask *why* some people cycle on the pavement. Could it be because our roads are so hostile to cyclists? In countries like Denmark and the Netherlands, pavement cycling isn't really a thing.

If you're an adult cycling on the FOOTpath, I'm not giving way or moving aside, get on the road, idiot.

@anon_opin Tubs? That's not butter you're eating. It's some sort of yellow spready thing.

That bit of paper they put underneath the lid on tubs of butter should fuck right off.

@twlldun OK, read the article itself now. Ouch.

@twlldun He was my tutor at Exeter. Am assuming he doesn't write the tweets.

My that’s a howler

Films They Couldn't Make Now. I'll start: