Jabs

We’re so afraid of the Westworld future we forgot the Aldous Huxley plot.

My shoulders have been at my ears since 2016 but ok.

AI is cool and all but my brain chemistry still alters when asked to edit a PDF.

I don’t mean to brag but I took one single solitary deep breath yesterday. So.

I still pop OFF to some Uncle Kracker and I’m only a LITTLE ashamed.

Someone emailed me with the subject line “Insight from your past life” and I can’t stop giggling. Which past life? I was probably once a European serf but I don’t like to talk about it. Just say you’re looking at the tech, dawg 😆

Canceling subscriptions has gotten insane… BUT ARE YOU SURE WHAT IF WE BRAID YOUR HAIR I’ll never return if it’s this annoying to cancel hydration sticks 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

🚨BREAKING: The White House has started preparing for the government shutdown

Guess my tax refund is just an investment account now

Have a friend with no professional experience pursuing his masters in beep boops at the local state university and occasionally he’ll ping me about a Cybersecurity topic he finds unbelievable and when I confirm it, he will spiral in dismay at how little things make sense

Oh captain, my captain 🫡

I’ll do my best to slow down if you try to keep up.

@panadero Hate hate hate, double hate, loathe entirely.

@CyberSnark The worst is "we're going to have to check bags, please conserve space in the overheads". "Oh, lemme just put my Jansport backpack up here nice and flat like..."

Good morning to everyone except people who put two bags in the overhead compartment.

@Turbo81 Would take you though all I have left is baby couch and dogs might run away at that point.

Good morning to everyone except people whose kids sleep through the night.

Absolutely nobody: Me: WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONITE i HOPE HE IS A GENTLEMAN

Still so relevant! I’ve had people recently apologize for “missing” this a few times - give it a gander if you feel so inclined 🤓

The #SoberSpeakeasy on Aug. 6 wouldn't be possible without these amazing sponsors: PLATINUM - jackiesinsecurity, @DomainTools GOLD - @MiscreantsHQ, Write Alchemist, @NinjaProxyHQ SILVER - @Ember_OT, @DianaInitiative, @HackersHealth Thank you for your support!

Some of y’all don’t drink so much coffee your stomach hurts and it shows.

Lots of maritime security talks lately that happen to forget to talk about maritime 😆