Cynical Doomer

May 8th 2023, my world fell apart. Never did i think I’d experience the pain and trauma I endured that night . Nor did i think I was capable of losing control the way i did. I committed the biggest mistake of my life as well as lose the woman I hoped to be my wife.

Today, October 27th 2023, I was sentenced to 11 years and 4 months in prison.

I truly am sorry for what I did and not having been enough for you. I wish you the best. Even after everything. I pray for the strength to move on just as you will. But for now, perhaps always, you’ll remain a splinter in my heart.

May 8th 2023, my world fell apart. Never did i think I’d experience the pain and trauma I endured that night . Nor did i think I was capable of losing control the way i did. I committed the biggest mistake of my life as well as lose the woman I hoped to be my wife.

I hope and pray I’m able to see them again some days. Happy Birthday…

Today is a special day, a day I’m grateful for. Regardless of how things turned out, I’ve learned a lot and have you to thank. you also gave me Kobe and Oreo, my kids who I’ll forever cherish, along with aria. Permanent reminders of you, of us, and could have been.

I remember admiring you from a distance as I walked towards you. A beautiful girl in a pretty dress, sitting alone at the park, looking peaceful, and waiting. You turned your head and greeted me with a smile for the first time.

tethered. Time… is all I have here. Surrounded by feels, ironically, where I belong.

Your smile is embedded in my mind, like a trophy on display, even though you rarely showed it towards the end my love is a lit flame in the darkness. Slowly being blown away as I desperately try to keep it alive. I feel scold myself, “ let it die ”, but it can’t. My soul feels…

My thoughts are a constant conflict full of contradictions, you were the best and worst part of my life. You helped build me up, only to tear me down. Look towards the future, but think about the past. Do what’s best best for me . Or follow me heart ?…