Chris Martin

#ResultsDayExcuses Don't worry mum, wait till I'm the next Chris Martin! #dcfc

Sad to see @wjhughes19 injured. It's good to see he's back, sat up on the floor playing with his barney the purple dinosaur #dcfc

Finally football is back! Sorry for the lack of Tweets, Paul Clement took my phone off me due to my "bad behaviour".

I might be late, I've been desperate for a shit #dcfc

Good to be back in training today. I've spent the day practising my acrobatics and dives ahead of Northampton.

PRE SEASON: #DCFC striker Chris Martin has this week returned to training: ow.ly/PHbAO #dcfcfans

@OwenBradley I see how I never get a shout out, yet without me #dcfc wouldn't survive… #unappreciatedchris #notwanted

Sat on the beach in Grimsby with Shackell enjoying fish and chips and a can of stella whilst eyeing up the local gash. #ladsontour #dcfc

Sorry I've been away, @PaulClement1972 banned me after I took a shit in his kitbag.

Which one of you bastards took a shit in my locker? @GeorgeThorne15 @wjhughes19 @cyruschristie

I hope @andiweimann doesn't think he's taking my position. anyway, let's hit the town tonight, we'll get smashed and cause fights! #dcfc

If Jason Shackell tries anything with my wife, I'll fucking deck him! #dcfc #imtheboss

Don't worry Liverpool fans, as well as Ings and Milner Brendan Rodgers has also signed a 30 Day Netflix trial on a free.

Does anyone know if @PaulClement1972 will dismiss the rumours linking him to Sunderland please? @owenbradley

Mac better not fuck off, he owes me a tenner the cheeky cunt! #dcfc #dcfcfans

@tjthebestwick @owenbradley @j_eustace14 We was on the same caravan site but he got kicked out for doing the helicopter in the onsite pub.

@tjthebestwick @owenbradley I think the heating has packed up in this caravan.

@owenbradley Do I need to come home from holiday early? I'm not fussed, weather in skeggy isn't great tbh…. #dcfc

@DCFCMartin9 sorry u nearly walked into my mums scooter In intu derby earlier #norearviewmirrors

Been to town today to have a browse at the summer range in sports direct. Picked up a sick fila tracksuit!