DABBY P

Me trying to get tickets to a gig at a sweaty nightclub at 35 years old

Just want to call it now. Trump is going to find a way to go to war and then when the election comes around, he'll say "we cant have an election whilst we are a nation at war" and then become a de facto dictator Heard it here first

8 years ago I was walking in to town and I saw a man that bore a striking resemblance to @frankturner. So much so I even took a picture Turned out it was him! Then guess who I bumped into on my walk back to my flat!

My idiot is back today, I dont do so well without him, he's only been gone like 3 days but I'm about ready to have him home

Just like old times. I'm too old and fat for crowd surfing these days. But still what a cracking night up in Stockton

On my old stomping ground in Teesside. Lubricating ready for some Shikari goodness

🚨🆕Is Bruno Fernandes Becoming a Problem for Manchester United? When the team has been playing poorly, he has continued to shine, but even the best have rough spells, and Fernandes is no exception. #MUFC ✍️@FPL_Dabby attackingfootball.com/is-bruno-ferna…

@RouReynolds I've really reduced my usage on here. I have another account I use for sports but I don't care about this platform anymore and I dont want to put the energy into it

The hack made me think, what if I lost this account? Would I care? X is a cesspool Run by a spoiled blinkered degenerate child But I used to love it here And I’ve been tweeting for 15 years So I feel like I shouldn’t leave But I hardly use it, I just cower on the sidelines ?

Sean Lock is trending and I couldn't not think about his love letters bit on 8 out of 10 cats

@MartinSLewis What a bunch of twats

Not again! I have NOT given my permission to be used in political adverts. This is NOT an endorsement by me in any way. I maintain strict party neutrality and am unhappy at the weaponizing of my reputation in this way. While this isn't as bad as the first terrible representation – which said it this about tax - there's still a misdirection. As I’ve already stated, in that private conversation I was referring to Labour hoping to make a positive change I’ve been campaigning for, but it didn’t want to lock it in the manifesto as it can’t promise to deliver. NO party’s manifesto tells the full story. ALL parties have things they hope to do but that aren’t in manifestos – as they can’t guarantee to deliver. The idea that Labour is an outlier for that is preposterous.

Get out tomorrow and vote. Make sure we can bury the Tories right alongside Thatcher. Then savor every single second of it #GeneralElection24

@SkySportsNews Go on George! Fantastic effort!

7-year-old George Hughes completes a golfing marathon, which saw him play 9 holes in 5 different countries within 24 hours to raise money for The Freeman Heart & Lung Transplant Association, in memory of his father who sadly passed away after an unsuccessful heart transplant.

Just another day being an embarrassing dad

@AttackingFooty This is an excellent post. Great picture, from the actual game and everything. Must have taken at least 42 seconds to find that

Every World Cup and Euro's after 2010 has featured a goal from Xherdan Shaqiri He's the only player to do so. Inevitable

I thought to myself, I've not got a picture of Oliver on my SLR in ages & I really want a nice picture of him in his England shirt (you know cause obviously when he makes his England debut, BBC are going to call and ask if I have any childhood photos in an England shirt)

Remember when Rachel Riley suggested "taking out" the leader of the labour party

Found 2 grey hairs today. First I've ever found and its my birthday tomorrow. So close to making it a full 33 years. Gutted

This is our Kerrang magazine cover

In today's episode of 'Strange things I've found in people's houses for sale on RightMove': What in the name of Dion Dublin has gone on here

In today's episode of 'Strange things I've found in people's houses for sale on RightMove': Nobody puts baby in the shower

In today's episode of 'Strange things I've found in people's houses for sale on RightMove': Wanking station