Karl Welzein

Suck it Ohio State. Nobody likes you.

Just when you think there’s nothing good in the world, Megadeth puts out a new album that takes you back to when American babes were ripe, a roadie in the cup holder was nbd, and you could smoke a Winston in the middle of the mall. Sad some nerds had to ruin everything, you guys.

It’ll always be the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl to me, you guys. Ain’t nobody tryin’ to eat whatever the crap Vrbo is.

Happ ‘Ween, boo guys.

Be the person with the Detroit gear that makes people say, “Whoa. Where’d you get that cozy mad swag, daddy?” You got it here, you guys: wubwheelco.com/collections/po…

Chiefs playing the Lions be like…. That said, ain’t many movies finer than The Last Boyscout, you guys.

Tigers pulling Skubal out of that game on a pitch count is like someone skipping life or death surgery so they can save money for a vacation they want to go on in a few years. “Just leave that tumor where it is, doc. I got big plans for Aruba in 2029.”

Good thing the Tigers saved Skubal’s arm for the next series. Smart baseball, you guys.

Couldn’t find any Sunday gear that had the bold freshness I crave. Can’t get bombed lookin’ like some puke. Sleeves removable with scissors or kitchen knife. Built in Saginaw, MI. Really lookin’ forward to the weekend, you guys. wubwheelco.com/collections/po…

Best Super Bowl halftime show option, you guys:

That Bad Bunny guy is gonna be the Super Bowl halftime show? Guess an auto flush public toilet wasn’t available, you guys.

In Steve Winwood’s “Higher Love”, when Chaka Khan starts hitting that “BRAAAAANG ME A HIGHER LOVE!!!” Man. Really takes me back to how good we used to have it, you guys.

We pledge allegiance to the flag. Not to some control tactic donkey show or bull fight scam. Wish people would start thinkin’ for themselves again, instead of gettin’ brainwashed by phony gospels and social media bottom feeders. And I’m thinkin’…Arby’s for lunch, you guys.

In the old days, your neighbor just hated you for poundin cold ones in your driveway, blaring Whitesnake at 2am. Not because you’re fans of different scumbag richers who solely exist to bend you over. Only one team wins in all this bullsh*t, and ain’t any of us on it, you guys.

The bad news is, we’re all being manipulated by social media and the news. The good news is, you can just turn those things off and do anything else. Can’t be controlled if you’re not paying attention, you guys.

ESPN just had to ruin RedZone with commercials. If you want something sports related turned into a pile of trash, give it to GreedSPN. Really sick behavior. Can’t have nothin’ nice, you guys.

We were all so lucky to be alive at the same time as Ozzy Osbourne, you guys.

You know morale is low in the country when McDonald’s bringing back the Snack Wrap is considered a beacon of hope, you guys.

Tea Leoni in Bad Boys might be the hottest a babe has ever been, you guys.

Really lookin’ forward to the weekend, you guys. podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pow…