Daniel Ada

A man goes to see a wizard and says: "Can you lift a curse that a priest put on me years ago?" "Maybe," says the wizard, "Can you remember the exact words of the curse?" The man replies, "I pronounce you man and wife."

Little Johnny asks his mother her age. She replies, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question." Johnny then asks his mother how much she weighs. Again his mother replies, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that... facebook.com/11473423986942…

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'

An eighty-nine year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge he asked her, "what did you steal?" She replied, "A can of peaches." The Judge asked her why she had stolen the can... facebook.com/11473423986942…

An elderly couple was attending church services, about halfway through she leans over and says to her husband, ”I just let out a silent fart what do you think I should do?” He replies, ” Put a new battery in your hearing aid.”

A woman and her 10 year old son were riding in a taxi in New York. It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under the awnings. “Mom,“ said the boy, “What are all these women doing?” “They are... facebook.com/11473423986942…

Before/After :)

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from being repeatedly poked in the belly. He was 81... facebook.com/BeliveItOrDont…

Whoever keeps reporting my posts, get a fucking life. Seriously? Wow! You've reported the meme About a kid getting an Xbox? Wow.

A lady goes into a jewelry store.. and as she bends over to look at a diamond ring she accidentally lets one rip. Hoping that no one had noticed she motions the salesman over and asks him for the price on the... facebook.com/11473423986942…

An office worker opened his pay envelope to find that his check was short by $100. He called accounting to voice his complaint. "you're right, we made a mistake," said the clerk, "but it looks like last week we... facebook.com/11473423986942…

Tammy and Joe worked together at an office. One day, Joe walks by Tammy and says, "Your hair smells nice." Tammy thinks this is a bit odd, but lets it go. The next day, again, Joe walks by and says, "Your hair... facebook.com/BeliveItOrDont…

The artist tried to concentrate on his work, but the attraction he felt for his model finally became irresistible. He threw down his palette, took her in his arms and kissed her. She pushed him away. "Maybe your... facebook.com/BeliveItOrDont…

Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf everyday since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. "That's it," he tells his wife, "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad... facebook.com/11473423986942…

A husband and wife entered a dentist's office. The wife said, “I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or novocaine because I am in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.” “You are a... facebook.com/11473423986942…

A man went to New York on a business trip. When the trip was over, he took a cab to get to the airport. The cab driver decided to have a little fun at the man's expense, so he asked, "My mother had three kids, one... facebook.com/BeliveItOrDont…

The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep.. It was fascinating.' The teacher said,... facebook.com/BeliveItOrDont…

Daughter's Vibrator A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter's bedroom. When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator.... facebook.com/11473423986942…

A little old lady answered her doorbell and saw a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. “Good morning,” said the young man. “If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to... facebook.com/BeliveItOrDont…

An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra. The pharmacist said, "That's no problem. How many do you want?" The man answered, "Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in... facebook.com/BeliveItOrDont…