Darlene Lancer, LMFT, JD

Abusers seek power to feel safe and avoid shame and responsibility - a loss of power. Set boundaries to not absorb their shame. Learn how: Dating, Loving, and Leaving a #Narcissist: Tools for Improving or Leaving #Narcissistic and Abusive #Relationships." bit.ly/3FLbHWH

#relationships #shame #codependency #boundaries #ODAAT #recovery #mentalhealth #selfcare #narcissisticabuse #narcissism

Many of us learned to deny our #feelings when it wasn't safe to share them as a child. We found ways not to feel with distraction, caring for others, or #addiction to habits or drugs. #Recovery includes allowing our feelings. #ODAAT #codependency #grief #anger #sober #healing

Look for my April blog on recognizing control, from mild to abusive to coercive, and what you can do. Sign up at #narcissisticabuse" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">buff.ly/4H9Q7Ce#narcis… #trauma #PTSD #CPTSD #codependency #narcissist #relationships #gaslighting

Love and sexuality can become distorted in a codependent family. Relational #trauma quietly shapes children's self-image and their adult #relationships. Read how it impacts desire, #love, and sex buff.ly/nV3cdv9 #sex #attachment #codependency #CPTSD #PTSD #recovery #shame

This article makes some good points. Until we're in a relationship, we don't see gaps in our #recovery. #Relationships trigger our #codependent habits and reveal where we need to grow #ODAAT buff.ly/aHDq5Is Learn more in #Codependency for Dummies buff.ly/yESJvSh

Triangulation is hard to stop. You may not see it if you were triangulated growing up. It causes #trauma, impacting attachment style and #relationships. It can keep us in abusive relationships even when we want to leave! Read how to undo it. #recovery" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">buff.ly/AzciTR8#recove… #PTSD

Understand #narcissism and projection and how not to absorb it!. buff.ly/N91ZQb8 Dating, Loving, and Leaving a #Narcissist: Essential Tools for Improving or Leaving #Narcissistic and Abusive Relationships buff.ly/1hv1hsb #CovertNarcissism #NPD #narcissisticabuse

Codependency results from more than a lack of love. In fact, many codependents were loved. It stems from trauma, shame, and missing internal structure. #codependency #recovery #family #psychology #relationships #ODAAT #selfhealing #mentalhealth #trauma #PTSD #CPTSD #shame

Taking a break from regular posting to focus on writing and living in real time, but will post on occasion. To follow my reflections, you can find over 200 of my blogs on Darlenelancer.com or explore my poetry book to glimpse my personal journey. Thanks for your support.

@DarleneLancer explores the #trauma of relational objectification in her latest #blog. differentbrains.org/the-trauma-of-…

Codependents often have self-doubt or lack #confidence. It can be due to #shame originating in childhood, but even with good #selfesteem, some find it hard to make decisions or are easily swayed. Find out why #doubt" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">buff.ly/7VXWTy3#doubt #mentalhealth #ODAAT #Coda #trauma

When a parent can't be trusted, it affects our self-trust, confidence, and relationships. If it causes #shame our self-esteem is harmed buff.ly/nolSwhg Raise Your #SelfEsteem bit.ly/2I4yFIN #parent #parenting #selflove #trust #selfcare #confidence #CPTSD #psyche

buff.ly/iAE3hsu Learn to spot the difference between real victims and manipulators: buff.ly/mtB4Nnb Read how to set limits and cope with narcissists: buff.ly/6uVIMcu #narcissism #narcissist #narcissisticabuse #relationships #codependency #narcissistic #NPD

#authenticity #selfesteem #selflove #mentalhealth #authentic

The Unseen Trauma of Objectification is often hidden because we see ourselves as we were seen, shaping us and impairing our growth. bit.ly/4oTnyoF #trauma #PTSD #CPTSD #ODAAT #healing #recovery #parents #psychology #mentalhealth

I wasted so much pain seeking #love while under the spell of romance #addiction. I had to heal the root issue that stemmed from a #narcissistic mother. Self-love is key. Self-Love #Meditation buff.ly/84remOn #selflove #healing #recovery #ODAAT #relationships #narcissist

Breakup Recovery Seminar buff.ly/8AHDVP1 #breakups #divorce #relationships #love #codependency #romance #mentalhealth #grief #loss

Mothers are often blamed for raising narcissistic children but in many cases #narcissism stems from the father's or even grandparent's genes. buff.ly/lpJaADx To cope with a #narcissistic partner or relative: buff.ly/q4LxaFl : #Narcissist #parent #parenting #ODAAT

Denial of feelings can cause #depression, #anxiety, and ruin #relationships. Identifying and accepting your feelings speed #recovery and empowers you. See over 200 feelings in #Codependency for Dummies buff.ly/B3629J4 #emotionalintelligence #recovery #ODAAT#mentalhealth

The trauma of objectification is often ignored because we see ourselves as we were seen, and we behave in the role we were cast, stunting our ability to become a whole person. buff.ly/PtzFPO9 #PTSD #CPTSD #trauma #selfgrowth #recovery #self #ODAAT