David Ross

I feel sorry for that Professor who lost his job for shagging during the lockdown. He should've just said he was worried his penis had stopped working and he wanted to double check.

@KirstieMAllsopp @WorJonny GARLIC PRAWNS

Liam Payne was a really generous lad, bizarrely he introduced my other half to Truffle Mustard, now a firm favourite, and has always been held in high regard in our family. His death is a terrible loss for his family & friends and his many, many, fans. Bless you Liam ❤️

@joshpearson180 @LeddersKnees RIP 🇸🇪

Rest in peace, Sven-Göran Eriksson Got this belter on repeat all day

Fair play this Neco Williams is a different player out of a Forest shirt.

@trussliz @Telegraph Lay off the heroin for one fucking day Liz.

The Conservatives lost the election because we failed to take on the 25 year consensus which has led to economic stagnation and cultural decline. The Starmer Government is the last gasp of Blairism. Read my article in the @Telegraph 👇 telegraph.co.uk/news/2024/07/1…

Can’t believe I live in a world where Jimmy Anderson is being forced into retirement and Joe Biden isn’t

Honestly thought she was the sign language lady here.

Danny Murphy just said that Netherlands will fancy themselves in the next round against Austria, a team they lost to seven days ago. 🙃

Gareth Southgate won't even risk Lemon and Herb.

He's back!

@LeddersKnees @ketchell Not sure, but it certainly distracts from the thinning top. Perhaps that's what he was going for?

@DaveRoss86 @ketchell Hahaha WTF?!

🗣 "Donovan, get rid of those sideburns"

@LeddersKnees @shrewsburytown @wor_stew Such a low quality shoot out 🤣

@shrewsburytown Shit we’re old @DaveRoss86 @wor_stew 🫣👴🏻

🎶 It was 20 years ago today... Relive THAT penalty shootout against Aldershot, the heroics of Scott Howie and a famous promotion back to the Football League! 🙌 #Salop 🔷🔶

nottingham forest have released a statement accusing chris wood of being a luton fan

@trussliz Is it YOUR INCOMPETENCE and...YOU?!! 🤷

Forget all you've read about the events of Autumn 2022. In #TenYearstoSavetheWest I reveal what really took place. Read the truth about WHAT and WHO brought down my government. Order my book at elizabethtruss.com Read the first extract here 👇 shorturl.at/gL137

Every now and then I think about the time a newspaper thought the best way to report on a failed terrorist plot at the 1998 World Cup was to DRAW A CARTOON OF IT!

@trussliz Happy Easter x

Happy Easter! ✝️

What just happened in Rangers vs Hibernian is a thing of beauty

Cost me a small fortune, but I've treated the missus to a new dress in Qatar Dutty Free. Well, I suppose it is her birthday.

@JonnyGabriel I went to watch Telford United last year and they awarded MOTM to the admin

Sheffield United are having the sort of season that ends with them giving their Players' Player of the Year award to the supporters.