David Cornsweat

See my movie

I’m so glad people are still out here named Lars. Swag times are coming.

@Variety The worst day on a film set is when I flooded Cleveland because I forgot to turn off the faucet in my hotel room Also one time I gave the cast and crew norovirus.

Jacob Elordi tells Gwyneth Paltrow that it's "bullsh*t" and a "f*cking lie" to say "the worst day on a movie set is still better than the best day in the real world" because “the worst day on a film set is really demoralizing.” Watch Variety and CNN’s #ActorsOnActors now at Youtube.com/Variety and on the CNN app

She iac on my brain until I Man of Tomorrow 2027

Boycotting Target this year. Also I couldn’t do my shopping anyway because my. head got stuck in the bannister again and this time it’s actually so comfortable.

Warner Brothers has tabled my Superman Thanksgiving special idea where i heat vision a butterball turkey until it worsens climate change. I fly up and backhand the sun. Mr terrific mashes potatoes with his flying balls. Could’ve been a game changer. Maybe 2026 🙏

@_consequence__ Ok rude.

It takes your eye off the shitty colours and the underwear on the grown-ass man

Anyone who gets the Superman 2025 blu ray for Christmas I will personally come to your house and guess how much you spent on your assets. Then I’ll demolish your leftovers and my face will get really red and i will become so dense. Walmart Thanksgiving package my ass.

I put a skippy peanut butter sandwich down somewhere in my house so I’ve been licking everything in my home to find it and I just tasted my wayfair sofa and now I’m addicted to the texture. need more sofa. Also I still can’t find the sandwich so that’s scary.

Guys that’s Rick she’s behind him. Until next time.

I assure you that’s what real fighting at comic con looks like.

30 minutes into Superman 2025 and I get so hungry for Cheetos.

Man of tomorrow my butt I want to be a man of today but I’m not leaving my bed it’s gray out and I got soup and blankets.

Whomever invented The Bud Heavy deserves the whole the world I would shake that dudes hand so hard light shoots out of his tootsies.

Bring him home. 🫡

@Und1sclosedPwr You’re welcome citizen. 🎈

@DavidCornSweats Your posts are hilarious, cause I could be smoking and then here you come saying some of the seemingly most in character shit you could and I laugh my ass off before remembering that this is only a parody account

Special feature on the Superman blu ray would have been asmr of me breathing and letting out a happy little sigh every now and again for 40 minutes but the streaming model took that away too.

@stylesgala He’s handsome always.

never thought i’d say this about a man but he looks better as a blond

Clark Kent to jimmy olsen’s little nose after 70 michelob ultras: “Booperman”

Brainiac is cool but I was hoping in the sequel Superman would fight the affordability crisis.

perusing the aisles at Ace Hardware for new tools so I can remove the doors in my house so they don’t hit me on the way out and I forget my Discover Card so I just sit down on the floor until the employee has to give me a pep talk. Better than Chat GPT therapy. 🚫🤖