David Happe

Here is a link to the press conference I hosted after not getting selected to the 2026 @NFL draft youtu.be/PWSPgwF3INQ

Silver chart

the flock. God is able, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be smart. Off duty police presence, disturbance training, pastoral protection, and church evacuation plans all need to be implemented immediately.

Churches need to have a security plan to deal with everything from disruptions to armed assailants. Too may churches are leaving the protection of their congregations to chance. Read the Old Testament. There’s zero wrong with thinking strategically, defensively, and protecting

A japanese experiment proved why traffic jams form for absolutely no reason.

I'm obsessed with cognitive biases. A "cognitive bias" is a systematic error in thinking that destroys decision-making. 11 most powerful (and dangerous) cognitive biases I've found: 🧵 1. Survivorship Bias:

There was no federal income tax the first 137 years in America was a country. Everything changed in 1913 with The Federal Reserve Act & 16th Amendment (Income Tax). America’s wealth was built on productivity, and stolen by usury.

@ConceptualJames More incredible to watch pseudo-intellectuals deny Christ and history

It's pretty incredible watching so many people fail the easiest moral test in at least 75 years.

@PepperidgeFarm @Publix Please feel free to adhere to US product safety standards

@DavidHappe @Publix Please feel free to send us a message twitter.com/messages/compo…

@PepperidgeFarm great job on quality control of your bread from @Publix

@PepperidgeFarm @Publix See attached. The hair did not have a best by date.

@DavidHappe @Publix Hi there, we are very sorry to see this. We are here to help! Please feel free to send us a message with the UPC and best by dates.

@Publix I won’t post my phone number here, but you can get it off the Facebook private message

@DavidHappe Thank you for bringing this to our attention. Could you please share which location you purchased this bread from? - Logan

@Publix you should literally pull all this crap off your shelves

@Publix I sent you a message through your comment on Facebook

@Publix EAST LAKE, Florida on EAST LAKE Road. 36301 E Lake Rd Palm Harbor, FL 34685 United States If I were you, I’d pull them all off the shelves and until Pepperidge Farm can assure you that their quality control isn’t going to put hair in all of your customers food

@gothburz Did you write this, and can I share it with attribution?

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees. $30 per seat per month. $1.4 million annually. I called it "digital transformation." The board loved that phrase. They approved it in eleven minutes. No one asked what it would actually do. Including me. I told everyone it would "10x productivity." That's not a real number. But it sounds like one. HR asked how we'd measure the 10x. I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards." They stopped asking. Three months later I checked the usage reports. 47 people had opened it. 12 had used it more than once. One of them was me. I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds. It took 45 seconds. Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations. But I called it a "pilot success." Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail. The CFO asked about ROI. I showed him a graph. The graph went up and to the right. It measured "AI enablement." I made that metric up. He nodded approvingly. We're "AI-enabled" now. I don't know what that means. But it's in our investor deck. A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT. I said we needed "enterprise-grade security." He asked what that meant. I said "compliance." He asked which compliance. I said "all of them." He looked skeptical. I scheduled him for a "career development conversation." He stopped asking questions. Microsoft sent a case study team. They wanted to feature us as a success story. I told them we "saved 40,000 hours." I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up. They didn't verify it. They never do. Now we're on Microsoft's website. "Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot." The CEO shared it on LinkedIn. He got 3,000 likes. He's never used Copilot. None of the executives have. We have an exemption. "Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction." I wrote that policy. The licenses renew next month. I'm requesting an expansion. 5,000 more seats. We haven't used the first 4,000. But this time we'll "drive adoption." Adoption means mandatory training. Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches. But completion will be tracked. Completion is a metric. Metrics go in dashboards. Dashboards go in board presentations. Board presentations get me promoted. I'll be SVP by Q3. I still don't know what Copilot does. But I know what it's for. It's for showing we're "investing in AI." Investment means spending. Spending means commitment. Commitment means we're serious about the future. The future is whatever I say it is. As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

This was such a great demonstration for kids. It explains it all perfectly.

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