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Bank robber: step on it!
Other bank robber: [putting gun to drivers head] fucking drive or I’ll kill you
[lights start flashing in car]
Robber: what the fuck
Cab driver: [through tears] welcome to cash cab
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The All American
518 posts
The All American
@DavidStandal
Comedian | Host | Fargo | Cellar Comedy Club | Tim & Dave Show | Alf | Radio Free Fargo KRFF | 701 | Davey & Rascal Show 95.9FM Tues 7am-9am |
Fargo, ND Katılım Haziran 2019
521 Takip Edilen887 Takipçiler
Do you guys ever regret not taking your grandmother's medication? You were too young to conceptualize how high you could have gotten?
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relatable "ickness" #comedy #standup #fyp #foryoupage #relatable #dating #ick #women #kamalaharris #trump #mags #Joebiden #kyliejenner #kimkardashian #autism #vote #recovery #crab #fargo #northdakota #dougburgum #legalizeit #lbtq #trans #nonbinary #jdvance
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The All American retweetledi
Fargo PD be like.. help us find this criminal. Like I'm suppsoed to locate El Chupacabra.
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The All American retweetledi
Fargo PD be like:
LOOK SEE! WE GOT A GAY OFFICER! WE'RE GOOD, RIGHT? SEE WE ARENT ALL BAD. REMEMBER THAT WHEN SHE'S PUTTING YOU IN THE SLEEPER HOLD. WE LOVE GAYS.
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The All American retweetledi
You're a little boot licking nark, Hannah. Pigs don't get Peanut Butter Patties.
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The All American retweetledi
Hey everybody, look at Junior Officer Dipshit. Thin Blue Line? I bet you can't even spell "Blue" you piece of shit.
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The All American retweetledi
FUN FACT: a good way to reduce depression symptoms. Is to take the medication prescribed to you by your doctor.
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The All American retweetledi
*smoking with my friend*
Friend: Bro are you high?
Me: Yeah dude, I'm —
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The All American retweetledi
The All American retweetledi
When I take exquisitely high doses of DMT this is what I hope to achieve.
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Imagine a police dog gives you this stupid look before biting your nuts and face off.
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Jahova at my door: "Do you have a minute to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?"
Me: "Man.. (drags vape) Jesus huh? haven't heard that name in ages."
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@z_ritty I've watched both my high school sro & principle beat some ass. All black kids.
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Schools should be filled with counselors, not police.
Ms. K is UNCOMMITTED for MN Gov@whatMsKsaid
some stats on SROs in schools: - children w/ disabilities are arrested 2.9x more than children w/o disabilities. in some states 10x - Black students are arrested 3x more than white students - Black girls are arrested 4x more than white girls & Native girls 3.5x more
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Hey I drove out to Bismarck to do this podcast with a couple cool white dudes. Many topics are covered. Give it a watch or face my wrath. youtu.be/4BrqK7YPM1w
YouTube
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