Dax Hilton

give a man a fish, feed him for a day. but if you feed a man to a fish, then you’re a murderer.

#NewProfilePic because i’m trying to do more on twitter

this dad from #WhiteLotus is just like me dad fr fr

fag on the play

me to the homeless man staring in awe as I fuck up a coin star with chucky cheese tokens: “live mas”

shower thought I had the other day while eating pussy: if i blew dap pen smoke in here and you queefed it out like an upside down train would you be into that or is that not the vibe.

Better not be a children’s hospital

my boss asked my if i was on my phone when i was in the bathroom. Uhhh, yeah? What else would I be doing, dumb ass?

trump was supposed to be shot like 8 years ago

i posted this last month and people liked it. so. here it is.

i think that’s how they cremated my dad

reading a book always makes me feel like an 1800’s boy who lives on the plains.

it’s a cracker tupperware in my bedroom typa night i guess

Myth: Jesus turned water into wine Fact: I turned water into piss

guys i don’t even wanna be here. if i had it my way, i’d be building cabins in the forrest with my bare hands. but i was blessed with this faggy exterior and now hammers scare me.

i’m like a kid who just finished running when i drink my bong water

ouchi mama i’m so hot! burnt to a crisp! #ballskinonmyarm

burrrrrr i fweeeezzingggg

the queen just died. but the game isn’t over yet, they still have to check mate the king