Diary of a Black Woman || PBD0411

@Stephen_omeje Hi, good morning Can I see your portfolio for motion design please

Cooked Some motion gfx🧑🏽‍💻😎

@Defi_Uk Hi, can I see your portfolio on motion graphics please

I’m Ukpono John (Defi_Uk), a creative helping SaaS brands, Web3 projects, and growth-focused companies communicate clearly, convert faster, and scale through strategic creative execution. My work sits at the intersection of creativity and performance combining: • Video Editing • Motion Graphics • Sales & Landing Page Design • Ads Management • Conversion-Focused Content Strategy I build content systems and marketing assets that help brands capture attention, build trust, and drive measurable sales. For brands that want more than content. I create assets designed to scale. #VideoEditing #MotionGraphics #LandingPageDesign #AdsManagement #CreativeGrowth

“Can we get to know each other?” NO! I don’t want to know you, because I’ll start begging for attention and i don’t want that.

Literally the only thing I’ll ever take accountability for. I stayed longer than I should have & it was my fault for tryna see the good in somebody who kept showing me how easy it was for them to switch & hurt me over any lil thing.

If I’m at home and my mummy wants to cook semo for instance , she’ll ask if I’ll eat, I’ll say no. She’ll put water on fire and ask me again ,I’ll say no. When she wants to turn the semo she’ll ask if she should turn my own, I’ll still say no. When semo is ready she’ll still come to ask if she should dish my own I’ll shout no. When she dishes her semo she’ll tell me to come and take one or two morsel and I’ll get angry and say I’m not eating seh. Later I’ll enter the kitchen because I want to eat semo, open cooler and see she has carefully wrapped semo for me, I’ll eat it and she’ll say she knows I’ll later get hungry and eat it. The day wey my aunty ask me if I go chop semo and I talk no, I enter her kitchen, she don wash semo pot and the plate wey she take chop, no semo for cooler too. I ask why she no keep semo for me , she say I talk say I no dey chop now. E pain me gan 😭😭😂😂

Me: Dad I want to make my hair Him : Go and make it now Me: Money Him: How much? Me 3500 ( in my head; attachment x2=800, stylist=1000, transport and miscellaneous =1000. Pocket the rest) Him: Ha! Isn’t it better if you barb it? My barber takes 100, it is when I want to dash him money that I pay 200 Me: OK goes back to my room 30 minutes later Him: Aren’t you making your hair again? Me: But you said I should go and cut it now Him: you better do quick. I will not wait for you o. I’m going to town now. Me : Rushed to the bathroom to take a bath and get ready He drops me at the saloon Him: Call me him when you’re done and gives me 3500 2hrs later he calls, are you done? I’m going home o Me: We’re not even half done. I’ll just meet you at home Him: aren’t you hungry Me: I am very hungry, but I’ll just buy mineral and biscuits. Him: OK don’t stay out too late. Me: OK sir A few moments later he calls again to ask how many of us were in the saloon? My dad brought food for all 3 of us. The woman making my hair asked if he was my boyfriend and I said my Dad, the other lady said maybe she is his only child. This man has 9 of us and he is like that with every single one He went ahead to wait 2 extra hours just to take me home, so I don’t have to go home by myself at night. Also the first to compliment my hair even though he complained about it being too much and too long. That man has loved me my entire life, being actively present and I would give him the entire universe if I could.

Cos they’d actually never regret it

Met someone like this recently and it left me genuinely unsettled. Her parents are Muslims but her grandma was a Christian who raised her mom as one. Her mom later converted to Islam. She doesn’t firmly identify with either religion right now cos her mom told her to wait and see who she marries and basically align with him. She is perfectly willing to marry either a Christian or a Muslim. The first thing that crossed my mind was, you genuinely do not understand what either religion is actually claiming. Cos if you did, how could you delegate the destiny of your own soul to a marriage prospect? This is also why I no longer do the kumbaya “we all worship the same God” performance. I have Muslim friends and colleagues. I can sit with you, eat with you, genuinely enjoy your company, and still tell you plainly that I do not believe in the substance of what you are doing, that I think it is completely baseless and remarkably flawed. I have always maintained that friendship and sharp disagreement are not mutually exclusive. Sports, religion, I will tell you directly. The exceptions for me are human rights and politics. Not this. Christianity makes a claim that cannot be softened, Jesus is God. Not a prophet. Not a moral teacher. God. And He is the only path to salvation and eternal life. If that claim is true, Islam is not an alternative road to the same destination. It is a fabrication from the pit of hell. Paul did not mince words; “even if an angel brings another gospel, let them be accursed.” Under Christianity, Islam is accursed. The being that appeared to Mohammed was not Gabriel. It was a demon, which is precisely what Mohammed himself believed in that cave before Khadijah talked him out of it. You cannot sit with that honestly and remain passive. It is not an option. Floating between the two is a serious sign of existential unseriousness. I will respect the committed Muslim far more than the one swimming with the tides, cos at least the committed Muslim has grasped that the stakes are real. And tbh there is a weight to this. Accepting Jesus as Lord can mean confronting what that implies about your late Muslim grandmother or cousin, or best friend. That is not a small thing. But that weight is not an excuse to commit to nothing. You never find peace with that. You just find a softer way to dodge the question. Lukewarm is not neutral, far from it. It is a answer in and of itself. And frankly imo it is the worst one.

An Indian once flew to Lagos to work with me. One day, he asked to visit a temple to pray. I Googled and found one in Ilupeju. Since I was his host, I drove him there. When we arrived, he asked me to step inside and pray with him. I honoured the request. I didn't want my refusal to damage the emotional progress and rapport we had built. We removed our shoes at the entrance. He instructed us to bow before 12 graven images. He bowed and prayed. I stood beside him and read the descriptions written on each god. We finished and left. Days later, he asked to visit my worship centre. Before the week was out, we were discussing his god and mine. Recently, he sent me a message. He said he now Googles my God regularly, and he is excited about what he is finding.

This time last year was the beginning of a 6months long chronic depressive period, but here I am today. It gets better, I promise you it does.

I once dated a man. On New Year's Day, though we were in different time zones, I expected him to call or at least wish me a Happy New Year in his time zone. When I didn’t hear from him, I hoped he was waiting for mine. Didn’t hear from him, I slept off waiting for his call. In the morning, I picked up my phone and wrote an epistle about how he had been a blessing to me, how grateful I was to have him in my life, and all those kind of things. He replied with “K. Tnx U”. I broke up with him on January 2nd. I can’t even remember what he did that day, that led to the final breakup (it was that trivial). But I knew I was done. My future flashed before me, and I knew If I didn’t leave, I’d spend the rest of my life trying to get his attention. Over time, I learnt that No man is Nonchalant. It’s just the value he places on you. To him, he thought he had me and I wouldn’t go anywhere—but he was wrong. After I broke up, He sent all his relatives and mine to plead with me, but I was done, started calling multiple times a day, but it was too late. Infact that reinforced my point, he had the time to call me all along, he just chose not to. Getting a woman should not make any man slack. The right man will keep putting in the effort to choose His Woman every day.

Doing a banking job in Lagos is top tier stressful. Adding a no love relationship will accelerate your burnout and depression.

a thousand dollars shall fall by my right and 10 thousand dollars by my left and i shall pick them.

this woman on TikTok said she ran into her ex months after their breakup. although it wasn’t messy. she had just realized he couldn’t give her what she needed long term, so she chose herself. they went out with friends, ended up sitting in a parking lot for hours after the club closed, laughing like nothing had changed. he told her he loved and missed her. said in a perfect world he’d try again. but he still couldn’t give her the time and emotional capacity she needed. and what got me was this part. she said she’s never confused comfort with compatibility they were good together, they cared about each other, the friendship was still there. but that didn’t mean they were right for each other. being able to say “this feels good” and still know “this isn’t for me” is emotional maturity.

Lord, please may I marry a man whose primary reason for marrying me is companionship that trumps procreation.

here you have it...

someone said “when you lose the emotional attachment to them, you begin to realize how ordinary they are, and that it was your love and energy that made them unique” and i seriously couldn’t have worded it better

End of the day there's absolutely nothing and nobody you can't get over. It may take months, years even, but eventually you will.

Just address me by my name next time

This ! It almost feels like doing the work by myself because I promise you,if you’re paying attention, you’d know.