Derry Facts

Mass confusion across many Derry Chapels this morning as the new words catch out many who haven't been in years.

Christmas is a time to think about those less fortunate than ourselves, like people born in Tyrone.

45% of Magherafelt locals are wondering what time midnight mass is on tonight.

72% of Derry males go to Christmas Mass to check out the talent. The other 18% go to show off their new checked shirt.

Folks be careful driving over Glenshane Pass its very windy.

The coldest temperature ever recorded in County Derry was in Meadowbank Arena.

With a small bit of rain overnight, it's been confirmed The Loup pitch is waterlogged for the next 5 years.

Why weren't there any nativity scenes in Draperstown? They couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

@GACSlaughtneil Have you asked any Glen men? #jokes

78% of Derry teenagers aged 13-14 were conceived to Manaic 2000 song. Yeah yeah funky yeah.

100% of conservationists are disappointed when they visit Greenlough.

Belfast does real bombs, Derry does Jäger Bombs.

89% of Ballinderry supporters travelling to London pray they can get Black Sauce over there.

Lavey team getting some lessons from the Coleraine boys.

Ballinderry's path to winning Ulster. Newbridge Glenullin Kilrea Lavey Ballinascreen Clonoe Scotstown Kilcoo Glenswilly

GAA Cheat Mode = Bringing Enda Muldoon on as a substitute. #bigeasy

Pubs across Derry will packed this evening with Lithuania v Latvia on TV.

No one ever sang 'I wish I was back home in Tyrone'.

Dungiven: A drinking town with a hurling problem.

89% of Derry players can kick snow of a rope, the other 11% are from the Quigan and Lissan.