Dev Machette

Me switching between brand accounts

My latest internet speak pet peeve is everyone describing something as “whimsy” - a new shirt or hobby isn’t whimsy, it’s WHIMSICAL. It can add whimsy. It can be full of whimsy. But it then itself becomes WHIMSICAL. Am I nuts?

these phishing scams have gotten so good I’ve started ignoring ACTUAL bills and important emails

And one thing about me is I’m going to back @McIlroyRory every time. Posted last week and HERE WE ARE 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

i would like to formally apologize to everyone i made fun of for liking golf this is my first time ever watching it and this shit rips i am STRESSED the fuck out lol

NO ACTUALLY REMOVE HIM HES RUINING MY DAY

In other news #themasters

“I still have a chance, everybody has a chance” FRANKIE FLEETWOOD PLS

Honestly kind of feel bad for the Fleetwood kid. They’ve made an 8 year old do a full blown press junket. Dude’s brain has to be in a blender today thinking about that golf shot. Good luck young, Frank. Knock that bitch on the green.

Despite my feelings about Bryson, Kevin Hart is an absolutely hilarious caddie choice.

why is the four logo giving survivor buff?

What a moment ❤️

Bawling like a baby for gary woodland I LOVE that man

I would do anything for an early morning Santa Barbara coffee right now. Truly peak.

I actually would’ve loved if Cam condemned the “USA” chant thing but classically he’s like hell ya brother that was sick got us this win boys

Cam Youngs real win is that hairline. Full head of hair. Zero signs of recession. Huge for him.

@CaptainCons Laughing out loud because really what is going on

The best players in the world are playing gorgeous TPC Sawgrass for the esteemed Players Championship Bryson is battling bugs the size of your fist and falling into bunkers in front of zero crowd

The tour should offer minimal FedEx cup points to players who miss the cut, but want to stay for the weekend to open hand slap the idiots yelling stupid stuff pre and post shot.

In retrospect, Fitzpatrick is 10x more likable lmfao

I also think Matt Fitzpatrick is such a good guy - totally root-for-able. Cam Young is too but like the overwhelming favoritism is weird to me.