Dev Machette

Me switching between brand accounts

I would do anything for an early morning Santa Barbara coffee right now. Truly peak.

I actually would’ve loved if Cam condemned the “USA” chant thing but classically he’s like hell ya brother that was sick got us this win boys

Cam Youngs real win is that hairline. Full head of hair. Zero signs of recession. Huge for him.

@CaptainCons Laughing out loud because really what is going on

The best players in the world are playing gorgeous TPC Sawgrass for the esteemed Players Championship Bryson is battling bugs the size of your fist and falling into bunkers in front of zero crowd

The tour should offer minimal FedEx cup points to players who miss the cut, but want to stay for the weekend to open hand slap the idiots yelling stupid stuff pre and post shot.

In retrospect, Fitzpatrick is 10x more likable lmfao

I also think Matt Fitzpatrick is such a good guy - totally root-for-able. Cam Young is too but like the overwhelming favoritism is weird to me.

@bendignan Hate it

@DevMachette_ Can’t stand them.

I could do without the “USA” chants at Players right now. Since the Ryder Cup, fratty male golf fans just put a bad taste in my mouth.

@jason_fox Fair enough

@DevMachette_ Unless you want a bag full of rutabagas, yes.

My boyfriend asked me if he could grab me anything at the supermarket and when I said sweet potatoes he said “cool send me a picture?” …of…sweet potatoes? ….for reference??

@brrrittnee Missed opportunity 🤣

@DevMachette_ Send him this 🍠

One of the worst parts of modern social media and personal branding is that for most people, human error wasn’t meant to be immortalized. It was a part of a personal journey. It was a part of growth. It was never supposed to be as definitive as it is now.

@MikeyNooodz No he can’t

Me in the weeks leading up to new product launches:

Your boss pardoned everyone who stormed the Capitol

Talk that shit

@MikeyNooodz LMFAO

Can this weird ass lady get the hell away from Rory’s interview lol..how embarrassing #rydercup