Michael

Quitting my job as a father to focus on a career in mediocre tweets

@M1L4GR03 Hi, fat retard here. I don’t find this funny

This is so funny if you're fat and retarded.

@muinberry I sent you some it’s in the mail

@DickCheneyAlt I miss celery so badddd😭

I’m eating celery it’s good

@BarstoolSyria Too bad I was born in the north and retarded

If you're born in the South and have an IQ over 120 your only career options are college football coach or military industrial complex

@Emawnish Watch me not choose dude I can do all

as a man you will have 3 choices: - get married and have kids - chop wood in the forest - kill yourself

@bettyjaws I’m not just walking bro that shits ran thru

try walking a mile in my uncle's pussy

@enderrats @SeascapeNature Oh yeaaaa its New York :)

@DickCheneyAlt @SeascapeNature Haha silly of course u know what city this is 😅

Are you a genius who can name this city?

@eekkxo We totally do

White dudes be like yeahh fucking fuck my fucking cock

@dookiedifficult That’s the only way to do it without guilt jerking

@DickCheneyAlt homemade freshly baked porn containing gluten and lard made with love

Unlike you swine I only consume ethically sourced or lab grown pornography

@BronMuse Unc status at 19 🕊️

“I’ll have Curry at the 2, but he’s strictly there to shoot.” 😂😂😂 PG - LeBron James SG - Steph Curry SF - AJ Dybantsa PF - Kevin Durant C - Nikola Jokic - AJ Dybantsa on his current starting 5.

@Sewil__ Guys a bum I’m tired of the bullshit

@DickCheneyAlt More random blue checkmark tweets ready to milk my 1 view from!!! thanks Elon

I love how the timeline completely refreshes when you close the app for 2 seconds super awesome feature

@Gabag00l__ Same

@DickCheneyAlt all the time

You ever have a thought so stupid it can’t be kept to yourself?

@Rainmaker1973 Miku???

Wind turbine after being hit by a tornado

@theepicmap Idk

What is it living like in this part of Italy?

@SportScran @Everton Nice

Hot dog at Everton @Everton 💷 £6.50 ⚽️

@TerribleMaps Ok

More people live outside this circle than inside it

@steveschirripa2 Hey Steve how you doin today?

@Gibboanxious I don’t remember doing this

Kirk Douglas signing the thigh of the painter Novella Parigini in Venice, Italy, 1953