Tim Houston - Premier of Nova Scotia parody

Announcing Mööber! Our moose-powered rideshare is an eco-friendly, sustainable alternative to cars. We’re training Nova Scotia’s moose population to carry passengers along rural roads and Halifax streets. Had one too many wobbly pops? Missed the school bus? Call a Mööber!

This platform is a negative dumpster fire. The spirit of what made Twitter great is long gone. I will not contribute to this site. I’ll be on BlueSky exclusively from here on out. Come on over there if I make you laugh. bsky.app/profile/dimhou… -ND

Vamooses it is!

Breaking: we finally confirmed moose are “naturally all-terrain” and therefore infrastructure. Our newly commandeered fleet of Cape Breton moose took to the streets tonight. What’s a great name for my new fleet of moose plows? #nsstorm

@Monaliu617 Neither is appropriate.

@DimHouston Lawyer can lead NSH why not accountant can lead data statistics.

The NS Auditor General says our Need a Family Practice Registry’s KPI is misleading. I prefer the term strategically optimistic. Plus we didn’t lower access to care. We just lowered the standard for counting it.

@Monaliu617 Is it appropriate for accountants to manage healthcare statistics? -ND

@DimHouston My accounting friend who lead NSH data analysis team created a new category (a new status) to reclass people from waiting list to the new category. The waiting list dropped quickly.

Finally a photo of the Barrington Street pothole fire.

Before you lose power because it’s raining, and @nspowerinc creates some kind of excuse that really doesn’t make sense, and you wonder why @nsgov let’s this go on … read this 🧵(bare with me, it’s long but important). #nspoli 1/

We don’t see the value of the federal gun buyback program. Nova Scotia has enough trouble regulating when you can burn leaves, how tall your grass is, and whether your chicken feels residential enough. We WILL have to buyback your toasters for NS Power grid stability.

As both Premier and Minister of Energy, I’ve asked Nova Scotia Power to start doing land acknowledgements to blown transformers and fallen poles. #nsstorm

@NateTWN @Uisque73 @weathernetwork Nathan what’s the chances you can help us wish the bad weather away? I’m a big fan of wishes.

Nice sun dog in #Halifax Who’s ready for another snow storm!? @weathernetwork

This is a reminder that unlicensed cannabis operations draw enormous amounts of power. #nsstorm

Nova Scotians must conserve electricity so Nova Scotia Power has enough left to lose later. They’re asking families to sit in the dark emotionally first, to ease the transition. #nsstorm

These lows are perfectly normal. Both are seldom shaped exactly alike. #nsstorm

@DanielleLatour8 Yes. I’m Troubles.

@DimHouston I see they re-casted Bubbles. Congratulations!

I’m announcing the Nova Scotia Board of Donair. Cost of entry is to simply eat a full jumbo donair while standing outside in February wearing a tartan. No napkins.

I would ask celebrities like Chelsea Handler to refrain from criticizing Nova Scotia unless they’ve personally experienced our famous 9-hour ER wait times or the emotional journey of realizing Halifax is not, in fact, Toronto.

@Stephenfoote If you didn’t smoke a joint, did you really have a proper donair?

@DimHouston Gotta smoke a joint too.

Who turned the power off in Halifax? FFS I want a donair.