Captain “Par Saver” Fucknuts

Put your hearing aids on and just hear me out deeply for this one…

@edward1mcdonald Xanax

What’s the best hangover meal?

@akshayyburner I care about my boys, my chapter, and the fraternity overall. But I’m not hyperly absorbed into it like I once was when I was a freshman now that I can go to the bars legally. Plus I’m not on the e board or anything like that. YITBOS 🤙🏼

@DipShitAssWipe Not at all

Is it normal as a junior to stop giving a shit about Greek life for the most part?

@martyrdison Fys dumb bitch

i will teach my sons to be absolute gentlemen to the women they date i will teach them to only date to marry, pay for everything, open doors, how to be good listeners and to wait until marriage to have sex i will teach them what courtship actually is can’t wait for this

@joeroyercumsoc1 I actually want to challenge him to a legal street fight

We’ve completely lost the plot. This is horrible. #shrink

@DougMcdaniels66 How the fuck is this AI

Foids all over. What are we thinking.

@CarolinaCloaked Hit a grav before my super conservative grandma cooked dinner. I ate 7 bowls of chicken pot pie, she got suspicious and found my stash and tore my fuckin ass up

Drop a story of the first time you got high chat 👇

@DipShitAssWipe blah blah blah fuck all that noise

not sure if she’s 22 or 72. and don’t care either. still #🪵 #rackattack

@murphyplshomer There’s nothing more nails than coming across posts like this with excessive emojis

@cassicorb Phenomenal armpits

I’m bored hi

Somebody come get their horny schizophrenic grandpa dawg

@DonnyJenkins67 It’s an earned valor mom, fuck you

“You should give your older PM’s to your brother since he only has 1.” Yeah mom sorry, I got a #righthook just waiting for you after that comment.

@DBreez98 Wish the machine existed at Auburn so they could wipe these fucks clean from the planet

Fiji x Ken Carson🔥🔥🔥

Last girl on earth I’d ever want head from… #shrink #braces

@SoftRWhite You took a three hour shit?

Just got paid $7.50 for this bathroom break. Haha, fuck you j*b!

@Mike_Will_Spike I’ve always admired a woman that kicks balls as her hobby

Maybe I’ve been a little harsh on soccer #expand

@B_k1112222444 What the fuck nigga

“Yeah SAE or KA I haven’t really decided”

@cameron200789 Nice, keep up the good work Cameron! 👍🏼

@DipShitAssWipe I just did Pilates and dance workouts

I’m back from working out now

@Bobbyboypimp Would’ve made more sense in front of a Peter store tbh