Distrikt

my dad goes to a bar with his friends every friday and he makes a list of discussion topics pt 5

Me: I’m a Sagittarius IT: your a fire signal!? 🤦🏻

@ThatEricAlper Electric sex panther

nobody in this city knows what this sign means.

i just want them back

“Every Friday and Saturday night we’d blow up a hundred balloons” I’m sorry, WHAT!?

The Chudleigh files: much better today Honestly, thank god. We were all waiting in anticipation. Thanks for tuning into the Chudleigh files. 😏

The Chudleigh files: just okay Come back for tomorrow’s update. 🫡

We are gagging over our new decor!! 🤪

“Oh that little polish guy??” What a statement 😂

Just cute work things 😂 @E40

My coworker holding a gooseberry: this is an orange right? Me: …. Do you know what an orange is??

“I have a fans only TikTok” …you mean only fans?????? “Yeah idk you can tell I’m lying” -chats with a accountant #ironic

Who wants to be featured on our TikTok 👀

“He’s a toad licker and smokes banana leaves!” That feels like a threat…?

“How could you see that!? There’s not even a bullet hole” concerning conversations from accounting

“The alter is here” -our IT guy (“the alter” is an iron maiden pinball machine”

It’s the audacity for me today 🙄

Shoutout to all the ladies that pooped themselves today 🥳🥳 #shart

“He’s gone-relli*” He’s got gonorrhoea?? What?” “NO he’s gone-relli!!” * (gone-relli is slang for gone)