King Goo

@SpiritAirlines do you hire genuine chimpanzees? How is it possible I got delayed 5 times, then cancelled and then somehow delayed again? Absolute freak show of a customer service department, offered me a JOKE of a refund. Make this right.

Hate buying juice bc wdym I poured one glass and now the containers empty

Imagine entering the “most useless person alive” competition and your opponent is your co worker

Dropping everything to start Chalamaxxing immediately #MartySupreme

A babbling brook would fix everything rn

Three screens up just monitoring the situation.

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Farting HARD in the cubicle this morning #hotbox

Said I made a sweet potato pie for Thanksgiving and my black uber driver did a double take and looked at me like I was Malcolm X II (I’m whiter than printer paper)

Fuck me I forgot to add I’m watching the winter soldier but I got fried and forgot I’ve won but at what cost

1:30 am Taco Bell. Insanely expensive bar tab. Hometown basement. High school homies. This is #blackoutwednesday

Got to work 20 minutes late but one things for sure is I WILL be leaving on time

The Illuminati telling trump to leak the Epstein files

“You only live once” thank GOD bro I cannot do this again