Dr Julia Grift Patterson 💙 Parody #EveryExDoctor

@UKLabour Euuurr!!! No matter how important you think you are—minister, mogul, or self-appointed emperor of a very small and unimpressive domain—there is simply no excuse for looking tatty. xx 💙👜

This Labour government is helping families with the cost of living and standing up for British interests.

@RachelReevesMP Ah, Rachel Reeves, speaking of “the power of procurement” as if it’s some grand economic lever and not simply the sacred art I have been perfecting since birth. 👜 You go on about public value... I’ll be in my lair, procuring things the Treasury doesn’t have categories for.

I’ve long believed in the power of procurement. It can strengthen Britain's critical industrial resilience as part of what I call 'securonomics'. And applying a new 'public interest test' for contracting decisions will strengthen our public services. theguardian.com/business/2026/…

Procurement? Darling, I once acquired a taxidermied peacock, three identical kettles, and a man named Clive in a single afternoon. No tender process. No oversight. Just vibes and an untraceable card. xx 💙💙

@LeeHurstComic When you lot go full feral like this, you end up making genuine, hand-working, National Health Service-adjacent fundraisers look like grifters by association. Like me actually grafting for hospital kits and patient support ("etc") getting splashed with the same chaotic energy xx

I hope the Western Lefturds enjoyed their Cuban safari. Driving around laughing and pointing at poor Cuban people for their own entertainment then having a party in a hotel in a blacked out city. Vile people. They epitomise socialism. Unlike capitalism where people get rich by hard work, under socialism you get rich by stealing from others and calling it redistribution of wealth albeit a larger share seems to go to the leaders. They are a pestilence in the world.

@RichardBurgon Second, I have consulted my VERY IMPORTANT friends (they were loud about this) and they said: if your cause is so pure, why are you crowdsourcing like a haunted GoFundMe goblin? Hmm?? The energy is… off. The aura is… transactional. Beat it, amateur xx 💙💙

@RichardBurgon First of all you do NOT get to play saintly courier of “tonnes of aid” while passing the digital donation hat around to people who were just minding their business. MY supporters are here for NHS-adjacent vibes and enlightenment👜—not to bankroll your geopolitical field trips.

Some of the medical aid I’ve brought directly with me to Cuba, as Trump tries to strangle the Cuban people. Today we’ll be receiving tonnes more as the Nuestra America Aid Convoy arrives. Aid is arriving all the time from Britain thanks to solidarity. Donate to Viva Cuba below.

@Femi_sorry Please don't try to park your 'tank' on my drive, Femi. Or else you really will be "sorry". There's only room for one NHS-adjacent campaigner here. Thank you xx 💙

We all agree the NHS needs improvement. But Nigel Farage built his career by promising brexit would deliver £3 billion for the NHS... And now he says he doesn't want the government to spend a penny on it. So MAYBE he's not the one we should trust to make those improvements.

@darrengrimes Darling, I don't think he can focus on anything with those cheap Specsavers bins! @DavidClulow would you please take pity on the man! xx 👓💙

Jeremy Corbyn has gone to Cuba to show solidarity with the vile communist regime. Is he ever focused on domestic issues?

Darling, no! Kindly send large denomination notes of all kinds to yours truly instead. Phil has appalling taste. Dr. Juju Patterson 53 Montpellier Villas Cayman Islands

@GiveUsAQuid Oh really! Dr. Juju—that would be me, darling—doesn’t need to worry about piddly little expenses like newspaper subscriptions. Complimentary, darling. My life is about luxury, while you’re out there counting pennies for your oh-so-precious copy of The Guardian—how quaint! xx 💙

@Doctor_Grift Those are Hate Donations, Our Doc. Together they wouldn't even cover the cost of a copy of the Guardian on Saturday.

£2! I’ve seen loose change under a car seat with more commitment. Don’t tell me the purse only opens that far while the rest of the wallet is on a spa retreat. Absolute nonsense. If you’re going to give, GIVE. If not, at least don’t pretend you’ve moved mountains with bus fare.

@dianemo87846011 @GiveUsAQuid It really better had do, Diane. xx 💙

@Doctor_Grift @GiveUsAQuid You need to understand that while the Strait of Hormuz is slammed shut,so are Our wallets! But when it reopens, money ( Our Hard earned cash) will flow your way like the water in the Persian sea.

Apparently we are ONLY £751 away from the crowdfunding target which means we are painfully close to unlocking all the extremely important, absolutely necessary things I need to spend money on immediately. xx

Far right trolls are saying JuJu deletes evidence of grifting upon completion of her holid... campaign crowd funders🚨🚨🚨 This one has an innocent explanation. Everyone has deleted personal items from their Amazon order history, right? 😘🍆😮💙

@GiveUsAQuid @Ye_Olde_Holborn I believe that 6.2 is the class of engineering degree he got at Neasden collegiate. xx 💙

@Ye_Olde_Holborn "Six Two" ... I don't believe for a moment his IQ can possibly be that high.

>>>So tiresome

@GiveUsAQuid @benjamin_chode I do wish he would hurry back, I am gasping! xx 💙

@Doctor_Grift Thanks for that detailed breakdown, Our Doc! BTW, have just seen that Our Tarqs @benjamin_chode has been suspended - wonder what Hate Thought of his resulted in that?

Who'dya think? xx 💙

@Doctor_Grift Cheap at twice the price! Now there's an idea 💙💙💙

Well fuck me! She's at it again. This woman has no shame. She gave up working in 2019 + has since been leaching off of the gullible on social media This will take her close to £260,000 in crowdfunding alone. Remarkably fully backed by @crowdfunderuk Who's making money? SHE IS!

@GiveUsAQuid £2K on a therapeutic alpaca named Nigel who will accompany me on fundraising trips and spit at anyone who asks for receipts. Another £3.5K will fund my research retreat in Monaco, where I’ll be bravely studying the medicinal properties of chilled rosé and yacht decks. xx 💙

@GiveUsAQuid Oh Sir Lefty, such a vulgar question… but since you insist 🤭 Firstly, £3K will obviously go on a solid gold stethoscope so I can listen more clearly to the sound of donations entering my bank account. £600 on incense, crystals and an unnecessarily dramatic cloak for my videos