The Dominant Need

A change this morning: For the foreseeable future, I am instigating an initial tribute fee of £25.00 in relation to DM's. I've avoided doing this deliberately, but some of you truly want to take up my valuable time without sending. To those who don't do that? This is on the timewasters and freeloaders.

My mood today is this. Start your day with it. Then be a good slut and send to thank me. youtu.be/PTFwQP86BRs?si…

@goonmorebro Given that - despite plenty saying otherwise - a lot of kink is routed in childhood trauma, I'd argue that SSRI's wouldn't work. Complex trauma impacts on brain development and wiring, NOT chemical imbalances. SSRI's are famously ineffective in treating developmental trauma.

This isn’t even a joke. Many of you could fix this with some basic chemical rebalancing…

PLEASW PLEASE DONATE AND SHARE! help preserve an enormous archive of vintage erotica from an adult producer in New York that is in danger of being liquidated at auction if funds cannot be raised by tomorrow morning. Learn more here. singleinbrooklyn.com/projects-7 If you can help, the cashapp is $isokecreative

It's funny seeing so many 'Goddesses' all calling out the director of Euphoria. By all means critique the show, it isn't at all representative of the adult industry, but the fact they all seem to want to name drop SL smacks of them all secretly hoping he might be a whale. Highly amusing.

One of mine is particularly masochistic. He's been gooning his stick off for the last few hours, to the point it's raw. I've said he needs to go harder, Much harder and then put on his cage with the inverted spikes. Naturally he has agreed, just to please me.

Read this by @HadrianTemple Like myself, he's a very thoughtful and considered Dominant. What he has written here is important indeed.

I wrote a whole blog post about the 'fake aesthetics and authority' thing. #bdsm #kink #findom gaybdsmfiction.blog/2026/05/09/aes…

@HadrianTemple I couldn't agree more. Frankly, I think that findom has reached a crisis point. So the likes of you and I do need to speak out.

@Dominant_Need It’s an importent issue.

@HadrianTemple I may need to write a companion piece - when a little less savvy b and limoncello infused. Consider me inspired.

@Dominant_Need Thanks!

@MaleFindomPromo It's been promoted by many as an 'easy fix' for years. Show some skin, and hurl a loser-based insult, and suddenly you're a findom. Which, as you know is pile of crap.

I’ve been in the findom scene for 15 years and never seen a “cashmaster” explosion like this. Every sub hit by the economy is suddenly an “alpha.”

I'm feeling somewhat under the weather today. So all day, my standing instruction is simple: Send to make me feel better. Throne.com/thedominantneed

Ch_***, you have my attention. Approach.

I'm a movie nut, it has to be said, and a child of the 80's. This was added to my collection today. £25.00 is an easy way for you to fund my interests, and show me my needs are a priority of yours. See to it, chop chop. Throne.com/thedominantneed

The 'submissive doom loop' is a frustrating thing for any Dom. Often, a sub is using kink as a way to process or re-evaluate a past relationship or difficult experience. A lot of the time without realising. After the high has gone, that sub will then apply the emotions from the original negative experience to the dynamic and the Dom, drop like a stone, and then run away. The need will crop up again, they'll find another Dom, then rinse, and repeat. Like a disfunctional Sam Beckett (kudos if you get the reference), they will get stuck in that cycle, too afraid to truly give up control, or let go and trust the Dom. How does it change? Well, for some it doesn't. But for those with the capacity, it requires you to do some things a little differently. Firstly, be aware of your drivers, the 'why' of your kinks. You'll do a lot better if you understand what need is being served by them. Secondly, a big one. VET YOUR DOM! If your stuff is big and heavy, don't chuck it at someone who has no clue, and little to no experience, they are bound to fail. Or, they won't care about you succeeding, and will chew you up, not caring about the damage. Be discerning, believe you deserve skill. The difference will be massive. Thirdly (fourthly?), you have to open up and you have to trust. Expecting someone to lead you through minefield without telling what type of mines they are, and even that there is a minefield in the first place is doomed to failure. Lots to consider, I know. But speaking as someone who knows, real, satisfying kink, requires introspection, and work. I have faith in you, and it is possible. Anyway, those are my thoughts over coffee for the day. Be good. Send and serve hard.

@manly_talks All great if you're about 16 years old with no taste or fragrance knowledge. Don't make me laugh.

The 11 best men's perfumes: 1. Sauvage - Dior

Very much agree. Further complicated by the fact that all of the above variables vary wildly from individual to individual. Take spanking temperature: what may be 'light' may be too hard for another. Not enough is made is what we as Dominants are required to get right, to memorise, and apply correctly.

RACK, SSC, & PRICK only give us so much when it comes to navigating risk within kink. More nuanced elements to think about: Magnitude- How severe? Probability- How likely? Latency- When does it appear? Reversibility- Can it heal? Controllability- Can we control it?

In a mood today. If you dare approach, expect me to be cruel.

I can say this with certainty, I am, simply, better than 99% of so called findoms out there. I drain, I use, and I build my submissives. I change their lives, I make them whole. The only way you find this out? By approaching me, correctly.

Describing the behaviour of faux submissive RP account circa 2012.