D 🍒

My favorite photo of me in existence so everyone has to see it

the doctor is neither near nor far

“women are so hard to please” meanwhile women:

You just never know with me

last time i took a relationship seriously i killed myself in my head every night for a year

hate when mfs make me be mean, i had a pocket full of sunshine til u did that

@skim_milf_latte thank u 🫶🤣💫

some lady cussed me out at the liquor store and Hollywood Undead was playing in the background

a perfect Wednesday

no one talks about how amazing trees are

i’ve successfully learned how to play ONE song on the acoustic guitar i accumulated by my neighbor going through a bad breakup

me holding my girl when she’s paying for the game at the register

@_281330_8004 i love u

My question is how does 1 beer make 3 beers of pee

i feel like this little dog when im in places im not supposed to be

First day of Summer…

Being in love w your opp is crazy .. that shit really happened to me . So embarrassing

seeing my girl lost in a corn maze would give me the ick. my wife would never get befuddled by grain

fuck it korn table at the indian restaurant

everyone adds me to their close friends story because I have Trustworthy eyes