Scott Brewer

Sup Fam. Doink the like and dry hump the follow button.

@Tostitos Your jars of salsa are unopenable.

@thudock11 True Colors.

@DrScottyB Better song True Colors or Time after Time ?

Cyndi Lauper is the goat.

Has there ever been a Pet Shop Boys cover band?

Why doesn’t a chicken breast feel like a tit?

@billyjoel I’ve been saving my pennies for some day, but I still can’t afford you concert tickets!

@RepMTG Lol, Paul Revere didn’t sign it! He’s the ‘British are coming’ guy. Hamilton didn’t sign. Monroe didn’t sign. Aaron Burr didn’t sign. George Washington didn’t sign. Damn, you do not know what you are talking about. Google stuff before posting if you’re unsure.

The average age of the signers of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776 was 44 years old, but more than a dozen were 35 or younger: Thomas Jefferson: 33 John Hancock: 39 James Madison: 25 Alexander Hamilton: 21 James Monroe: 18 Aaron Burr: 20 Paul Revere: 41 George Washington: 44

Foo Fighters cover band: Foo Sympathizers. #FooGood #FooOk #FooBad #FooSucks #FooBad #FightFoo #FooFighters

We’re all stars now, in the dojo.

Lenny Kravitz is so cool, his girlfriend has to wear a glove when she holds his hand.

Lenny Kravitz is so cool, when he runs a fever it’s 92 degrees.

Lenny Kravitz is so cool, when he eats ice cream he complains it’s too warm.

Stopped at Chili’s for a quick beer. Got yelled at by the hostess for walking right to the bar…30 minute wait. At the bar? No thank you. That’s not how a bar works.

“He’s no Russell Brand” -me just now.

Under the right circumstances, I can blow minds.

Twitter feels different...less fake news.

Things don’t change on January 1st. It’s January 20th, when that dick is evicted from the Whitehouse. Then things will start looking up.

@HamillHimself Humpty-Trumpty.

"watch me fight"

Watch me tweet. #watchmetweet