Drew Parsley

STAT OF THE GAME: Points scored after the band played "Old Town Road" by @LilNasX Oregon: 0 Auburn: 21

IYKYK

THE TEXAS RANGERS ARE WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS!

Taking the reigns. #GoAndTakeIt

@FCDallas u good?

@AveryJSteed Happens with unfortunate frequency

@AveryJSteed Dude has "FJB" before the Bible verse in his bio 😂

@AveryJSteed Sinking twitter might be the first good thing Elon does

Having a newborn while being a deep sleeper is fun because you get to basically come out of a coma multiple times a night so your spouse can fill you in on what year it is and how the baby has been crying for 10 minutes

@TravisErwin @minnebama Yeah Dev I'd listen to this guy. He writes stories to make people cry so he'd definitely know a crybaby when he sees one

go eastern conference

@minnebama Some great ones in there! I hope you're ready to have them all memorized pretty soon

our son is gonna be literate as FUCK

@minnebama It's gotta be so easy. Like it would take me no time at all to convince a bunch of boomers that "The Left" came up with the word 'conscience' to convince them that their internal beliefs are anti-science

@DrewParsley we could just say we’re doing it all as an experimental, super meta, deep satire bit and see what happens. where’s that crappy red wig?

the funniest thing possible would be for SNL to air this on Saturday, completely unedited. just plop right in the middle of the show, like the joke it is

@minnebama Damn just think of how rich we could get if we had no morals and would just sell anything to anyone. Stupid conscience

@DrewParsley my sincere hope is that it’s just a grift but it does appear to be real

@JoshBrunnerSID Amazing, congrats man! You'll have to meet my father in law if you ever travel to SIU!

Incredibly humbled and excited for the opportunity to work with Murray State’s 320+ student-athletes, coaches and staff! Big things are coming from the Navy and Gold! #GoRacers 🏇

⚽️🇦🇷

Tell me you have a toddler without telling me #SpotifyWrapped

KELLYN THE SAVIOR

@minnebama Isn't it?? I had actually forgotten all about it until I saw something say he was a '14 alum

@DrewParsley what an incredible flex

Not many people can say they graduated in the same ceremony as their school's head football coach so that's pretty cool!