DrunkCatLadies

Not sure where this story is going, but I just remember thinking that being alone, watching basketball with a small bet on the line was the most fun I had on that whole trip. March Madness! 🏀🤍

I got a beer by myself and was just enjoying the time alone. Eventually, some guy came up to me and started chatting. He was super nice, normal, and we talked sports. Turns out he was on his bachelor party.

Back in my early 20s, I went to Las Vegas during March Madness with some friends from work. I was tired of hanging out with them (and one kept hitting on me), so I went to the Sportsbook by myself and placed a $20 bet on the Texas Longhorns.

@people Ban pitbulls.

5-Day-Old Baby Mauled to Death by Family Dog After Being Brought Home from Hospital people.com/5-day-old-baby…

I watched the last Texas/A&M game in a bar with friends. I'm currently gearing up to watch it in Longhorn PJs while drinking coffee with my husband and three little kids. #HookEmHorns #TexasFight

Cats prefer the purr-ty of power #Election2024

Rogan: Have you seen that video of the cat? Harris: Mmmmhmmm! Rogan: So insane! Jamie, pull up that video. Harris: Ohh, Joe. Come on. Rogan: Can you imagine this shit going on in your yard!? Trump: THEY'RE EATING THE CATS. THEY'RE EATING THE DOGS.

A cocktail, but make it for a parent of three small children during cold/flu season. -NyQuil -Zinc -Vitamin D -Vitamin C -Regular multivitamins -Fish Oil -Magnesium -Melatonin -Liquid IV Cheers!

Go to the pumpkin patch, they said. It'll be fun, they said.

Woke up to a cat crying super loud outside my door, but then realized it was my 5-year-old watching TV at 6 AM with the volume as high as it could go.

Doing a lice treatment on my 4-year-old while watching the #RedRiverRivalry. How times have changed. (Photo of a different game during halftime). #HookEm #Parenting

Hand watering your yard with a glass of wine on a Friday night is scientifically proven to lengthen your life by 3 years.

When robots have better personalities than 3/4 of real people

I asked AI to make me a cat driving a Cybertruck, but it somehow created me a Mad Max cat.

Thinking about touring the country with 20 cats and a #RoboVan. We should probably skip Springfield, huh?

Lucky number 13! Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary

Texas Football. That's the tweet.

Wow, I'm amazing.

I N D E P E N D E N T

Peak mid-thirties: Making myself a mixed drink (Liquid IV) on a Friday night in preparation for a rough morning (lifting + running before the kids wake up)