Alexander James

Rules to be a writer: 1. Suddenly and impulsively decide to do chores instead

I don’t have ADHD, I wanted to miss my buss because I was scrubbing inside the trash can. I planned it that way.

Was goddamn MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY in angels in the outfield??

What’s the nicest way to tell the man next to me if he slurps his soup loud enough for me to hear it one more time I’m going to take him into the kitchen and drown him in a cauldron of it

Bookish confessions! Hi my name is Alex and I confuse tension and venison when reading because I’m an idiot

@Library_Tony Tony this is amazing!! Thank you!

@DrunkScribe Cool new article of mine featuring THE WOODKIN here..... horrordna.com/features/join-… Tony

There are teeth???? In my jacket pocket???

@rollins_green I don’t like it

@DrunkScribe 🤨🤨

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there is a 🚨distinct nip in the air ‼️

@itsjessandart Wat

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

@TeamCherryGames check out this badass art that @Garionnnnnnn made for u

@deidrejowen Somehow yeah it definitely does

@DrunkScribe Does it help to know that I have never given this a single thought?

Secret grown up tests no one warned me about part 1: when multiple people are in the to: line in an email, who responds first?

If your flight leaves before the airport McDonald’s opens for business, you (and me) should probably re think some life tenets

I wish I was half man half shark because sharks don’t have to pay taxes

Shout out to this draft WIP that after THREE YEARS decided to tell me what it needed to fix the third act while I was sitting drinking a cup of coffee. Dick.

The idea that someone would fail to qualify for a job in the year of our lord 2025 for marijuana usage is revolution-worthy

@Gabino_Iglesias It’s so great we’re having so much fun here

Writing is amazing, but publishing is a different story. If you’re going to put yourself through publishing, make sure you write the stuff you love. Always.

Editors don’t want you to know this one editing hack!!! -delete everything and set your computer on fire

I don’t remember, therefore it didn’t happen; a husband story

@itsjessandart NEVER

@DrunkScribe I didn’t breathe once when I said this. NOT ONCE!

I promise you this, content-person. I swear it on my grave, on the future corpse-rot I will become. Come here. Get real close, so you can smell the ozone fury on my breath. I will NEVER! follow for part 2