Dwayne Kennedy

572 posts

Dwayne Kennedy banner
Dwayne Kennedy

Dwayne Kennedy

@DwayneTKennedy

COMEDIAN, WRITER, Please buy my new album, “Who The Hell Is Dwayne Kennedy?” at https://t.co/mNDnmqAUlu

Chicago, IL Katılım Haziran 2012
118 Takip Edilen1.4K Takipçiler
Dwayne Kennedy
Dwayne Kennedy@DwayneTKennedy·
NYC will be better off with a Socialist mayor than the United States of America is with a KGB president.
English
0
0
3
129
Dwayne Kennedy
Dwayne Kennedy@DwayneTKennedy·
mourning in america
English
1
7
40
5.1K
Hen Mazzig
Hen Mazzig@HenMazzig·
“Don’t stand there like a coward,come here and say it!” Radiohead’s Thom Yorke responded to an anti-Israel hackler who kept yelling about Gaza throughout his show in Melbourne today. Yorke left the stage and came back after the crowd kicked out the protester.
English
139
423
3.7K
145.6K
Dwayne Kennedy
Dwayne Kennedy@DwayneTKennedy·
Donald Trump has reached out to Hurricane Milton to offer his assistance in destroying the country.
English
6
51
333
19.3K
Dwayne Kennedy
Dwayne Kennedy@DwayneTKennedy·
“Black Nazi” sounds like the name of an 80’s TV pilot that didn’t get picked up. You know, because it was called “Black Nazi”.
English
0
0
1
125
Dwayne Kennedy
Dwayne Kennedy@DwayneTKennedy·
Mark Robinson is a DEI nazi.
Italiano
0
0
0
185
Dwayne Kennedy
Dwayne Kennedy@DwayneTKennedy·
Hey Don, Haitian’s damn sure don’t eat dogs and cats and by the way you keep ducking Kamala’s invite for another debate you just better be glad they’re not coming after chickens.
English
0
0
2
118
Dwayne Kennedy
Dwayne Kennedy@DwayneTKennedy·
JD Vances many public declarations of his oddly obsessive contempt of a particular type of woman makes me think that he struggles with everything in his being against the urge to be a serial killer.
English
0
0
0
116
Dwayne Kennedy
Dwayne Kennedy@DwayneTKennedy·
@wkamaubell @JDVance Never be a white dude in an off the rack suit falling up in a bakery with several other white dudes in same said suits tryna make small talk about donuts and length of employment and what not..you’ll just look like Immigration.
English
1
0
4
62
W. Kamau Bell
W. Kamau Bell@wkamaubell·
I know I’m a weird messenger to be giving advice, but I truly mean this to be helpful, @JDVance. Fire your whole team. They clearly hate you. This is TV production 101, and they failed it. 1) Someone is supposed to scout ahead and make sure everyone there is interested in being on camera AND excited to talk to you. And if your team finds out that no one at the place is interested in talking to you and some don’t even want to be on camera with you - situations that I’m sure you are used to by now - then your team needs to find another establishment. 2) Someone is supposed to prep you with names and talking points. This is especially true because, as you know, you are horrible at small talk. Your team must even know this by now. Your team has to give you follow up questions so you are ready to go. “What is your bestselling donut?” “What’s your favorite?” “What do you recommend?” “What’s your favorite part of your job?” “Do you eat too many donuts because you work here.” This is simple stuff. But again, I get that it is extremely hard for you to speak to humans. That’s why you need a better team. 3) in lieu of small talk, which I would recommend you skipping because you are - again - HORRIBLE at it, your team should have given you a pre decided order so you were ready for the “difficult task” of ordering donuts. Here are a few suggestions for next time. “I’ll take a dozen glazed.” “Just give me a dozen of your bestsellers.” “JUST FILL THE BOX WITH SPRINKLES THAT YOU SCRAP OFF OF SPRINKLE DONUTS, AAAAAARGH!!!” That last one was a trick. If you believed it then you need more help than I even imagined. The good news is I’ll happily take you on as a client to teach you how to appear more human, all for the price of one jabilliondee dollar bucks. Currently, there is a 1% discount. But I need your answer by… more
English
1.3K
4.2K
43.8K
4.3M
Dwayne Kennedy
Dwayne Kennedy@DwayneTKennedy·
@dyllyp Either permanently ban this woman from break dancing in public ever again or establish a comedy division.
English
0
0
0
25
Dwayne Kennedy
Dwayne Kennedy@DwayneTKennedy·
Trump said the crowd he spoke to at the National Mall was bigger than MLK’s, on the day he gave his historic, “I Have A Scheme” speech.
English
0
0
6
104
Dwayne Kennedy
Dwayne Kennedy@DwayneTKennedy·
Tim Walz has yesterday’s face and tomorrows ideas.
English
0
0
2
105
Dwayne Kennedy
Dwayne Kennedy@DwayneTKennedy·
I bet Tim Walz drinks REGULAR Mountain Dew!
English
0
0
4
120
Dwayne Kennedy
Dwayne Kennedy@DwayneTKennedy·
Trump said Kamala doesn’t have the “Real capacity” to face him one on one. That’s because when Trump gets women one on one they usually wind up having to point him out in court.
English
0
0
0
120
Dwayne Kennedy
Dwayne Kennedy@DwayneTKennedy·
Republicans are starting to fear that JD Vance is becoming a drag on the campaign…and you know how much republicans hate drag.
English
0
0
4
223
Dwayne Kennedy
Dwayne Kennedy@DwayneTKennedy·
I’ve just made keeping Trump outta the whitehouse my new Black job.
English
0
1
6
92
Dwayne Kennedy
Dwayne Kennedy@DwayneTKennedy·
Donald you asked if Kamala was Indian or Black? She’s both. Because you can be both. You know, how like you’re dumb AND stupid.
English
0
1
5
149
DJ Kam Bennett
DJ Kam Bennett@KameronBennett·
This gonna be our new president?
English
9K
3.1K
59K
8.5M
Dwayne Kennedy
Dwayne Kennedy@DwayneTKennedy·
I don’t think MAGA meant to identify Kamala as a DEI hire. I think they just misspelled DESI who has indeed achieved on a level HIGHER than a MAGATS imagination.
English
0
0
2
146