stupid asshole

For sale dead horse never beat

I know a mechanic who claims to have changed the breaks of an alien’s car.

Finishing dry January with a bar fit check #expand

I failed out of economics class cause I kept referring to a concept of my own invention called Dominican Returns

i chased the carrot so long i fell in love with the stick

“Reacted 🍔 to your message”

An ant made out of electricity

she must be coffee the way i’m grinding her bean (?)

will the wonders of this world ever cease? my potato has a beautiful supple ass and hips to boot....

just invented a new term ‘that’s boner’… it’s like ‘that’s cunt’ but for boys

Im letting go of all earhtly attachment exactly like buddha besides the things i like and want

how do circumcised ppl sneak food into a movie theater

Pooping out of my fucking ass

bf: *trying to break up with me* me: {loudly, with headphones on} sorry man i dont have any cash on me right now

The left testicle is the more logical and analytical one. The right is the creative and artistic testicle.

You’re telling me this “mother board” contains “trans sisters”? Fascinating.

i'll find you in every lifetime (threat)