EDgnome

Doc:”Y r u here?” Pt: “I think my Chlamydia is back” Doc: “Did it take a vacation?” 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Doc:”Do u have an inhaler?” Pt:”No but I have a BENEVOLIZER” Doc:”Holy breathing treatment” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Doc:”Open your mouth” Pt:”Aaaaah” Doc:”Looks good” Pt:”Did you see any HIV?” 😳😳😳😳😳

Bro wished for a bigger dick and he got it

Doc:”What are you taking for your diabetes?” Pt:”Nothing but I drink vinegar when it’s over 400” 😳😳😳😳😳

Pt:”It’s my gallbladder” Doc:”What’s wrong with it?” Pt:”It’s in a gray area” 😳😳😳😳

RN:”Y r ppl with chest pain ok with being told that everything is normal but pts with abdominal pain get mad when they’re told the same?” Doc:”Good observation, idk either but now my belly hurts” 🤣🤣🤣

Doc:”Your HCG is 1, you’re not pregnant” Pt:”That’s wrong, my doctor says I’m 5% pregnant” 😳😳😳😳😳

Pt:”I passed out” Doc:”How long were you out?” Pt:”Not long, I did CPR on myself by thrusting my body back and forth until I woke up” 😳😳😳😳😳

Pt:”Idk who the daddy is so I need a DNA test” Poss Baby Daddy:”I talked with the other dawg and he’s not sure if he nutted in her or not” 🤮🤮🤮🤮

RN:”What makes u think this 80 yr old lady needs a psyche evaluation” Son:”She keeps saying “Pound me”” 😳😳😳😳

Doc:”Do you need a work excuse note” Pt: ”Yes” Doc:”What work do you do” Pt:”I Door Dash” 😳😳😳😳😳

Diagnosis of the day : “Tachydermia” 😳😳😳😳😳

Doc:”Your labs are normal. I think this is a viral infection” Pt:”I disagree. My doctor checked me and told me my tests were negative for all the viral infections” 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

Pt:”A hammer fell on my head” Doc:”Your CT is normal” Pt:”Why is my head hurting?” Doc:”Coz a hammer fell on your head” 😜😜😜

Doc:”Did u really swallow a penny the way you swallow food?” 5 YO: “No, I swallowed it like I swallow pennies” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Medical flight:”Coming in hot with a GSW to abdomen” Charge RN: “Hey y’all we got a helicopter coming in lights and sirens with a GSW” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Community Hospital ED director:”I heard u resuscitated a baby in L&D” Doc:”Baby b dead if I wasn’t there” EDD:”Our malpractice insurance doesn’t cover things outside the ED” Doc:”Some things are worth the risk” 💪💪💪

Pt:”I think I’m allergic to the sun” Doc:”Good thing you’re not allergic to the moon or you can’t get out” 😜😜😜😜

Doc:”What medical problems do you have?” Drunk:”I have See yo pee pee(COPD)” 🤣🤣🤣🤣