Altiero Spaghetti

Boris Johnson pulls out of UK leadership race, aiming to challenge Xi Jinping instead.

BREAKING: EU PLANS UK BAILOUT UNDER DRAGHI-LED GOVT #fantasyheadlines read more off of berlaymonster dot com. berlaymonster.com/post/eu-plans-…

Russia says Loch Ness Monster to blame for damage to Nord Stream gas pipe.

So much fuss today about the EU's new Single Market Emergency Instrument and still no clarity about what it is. Is it a violin, a cello or a piano? #SMEI

Look at the absolute state of the union

Every possible thing that Ursula von der Leyen failed to mention in her #SOTEU speech today THREAD (1/10,000,000,000)

After a summer molto caldo your favorite sustainable pasta lobbyist is back with the REAL text of the State of the Union speech as VDL delivered it #SOTEU berlaymonster.com/post/hashtag-s…

Manfred Weber lives in his childhood school. What a weirdo.

I remember my first interrailing trip

@AmericanEUDude No way!

One clue might be anagram of her name “Oy Duvel Sale Runner”

Why is Ursula Von Der Leyen advertising Duvel ?

@SpinDriftTheory Hahahhaha

@EU_Spaghetti If an EU official had been a WHO official: Recalling the bear lurking in the region; Reaffirming the importance of fences; Noting with concern the number of armored vehicles blocking highways; RECOMMENDS further consultations; and URGES to increase early-warning surveillance.

If Shakespeare had been an EU official: "Exit, pursuant to a bear."

Isn't it weird how Von Der Leyen's 7 children are all named after Commission DGs? There's the eldest AGRI, the high earner BUDG, tiny but influential SANTE, the nerd JRC, the loner COMP, the travel-loving EEAS and the hipster CLIMA.

Brussels says it will send Ukraine a "cutting edge" defence system known as G4S

After news of the Les Républicains party being unable to afford its €5 million campaign fees, its leader rebrands as Valérie Can't-Paycresse.

BREAKING: Israeli spies hack @dreynders’ phone to find a list of impenetrable acronyms and lunch appointments berlaymonster.com/post/israeli-s…

Who else is wondering how exactly Borrell will manage to screw up his meeting with Zelenskiyy?

BREAKING: EU UNITY NOW MEASURED IN 'EUCOSECONDS' Scientists have discovered a new unit of time to define the period of EU unanimity following the outbreak of the Ukraine crisis. #fantasyheadlines berlaymonster.com/post/eu-unity-…

It's not snow, it's a Special Meteorological Operation.