Eleazar 🪿

Guys, no matter how many girls call you ugly, your barber has seen the worst of you.

Just cut off a student driver. welcome to the real world nigga

Spent less than 6 minutes at the DMV and no one yelled at me to provide them with my proof of owning my Large Intestines. IS THE WORLD HEALING!?!?

taco bell is for the pure of heart

This would heal me

This is one of the best tweets of all time.

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake

BENITO. 📸: Chris Graythen/Getty Images

i have to pee again life is so hard

How the memory of being healthy looks when you have a cold:

Me smiling at you because I didn't hear anything you just said

This was Apple’s greatest innovation.

Seems like Good Bunny to me.

you just have to get stronger im sorry

Unfortunately the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Your honor the moon was full

Addicted to staying “stay warm” to every stranger I interact with

January was a tough year but we made it

the way everyone FLEW out their seats but him oh bad bunny you are highly favored