Reina Light🏳️‍⚧️

hi i made this account bc some people in my irl know my old username and stuff and it isn't safe for me to be outed so hi everyone im a girl now smile :)

when i went to hong kong i saw two very tall women who seemed to be tourists. they were almost as tall as me, maybe even taller. seeing them made me feel really better and gave me some courage that i could be a woman with my height

I'm sort of legit terrified of breast growth, cuz I need to boymode for at least like 10 years if not forever, and I already have like manboobs so if they get even more noticable I probably will have to bind everyday, and yk then being found out will be even more terrifying

maybe I should stop thinking too hard and enjoy life... i like the changes so far and so I'll just live... I got another month to think about it until my next appointment after all

I just don't know, I really sometimes just want to be perceived as a genderless being

the thing is, if there was a magic button that turned me into a girl, I would definitely press it, but like, if there were a button that turned me into a slimmer, shorter twink-ish guy, I probably would also press that??? like i don't know if this is dysphoria or dysmorphia

I don't know, I really don't know, I just don't want any friction if I need to get bigger medical procedures in the future, for instance, like how will I ever disclose that I'm on hrt to my urologist? they're korean doctors, half of them don't know what a transgender is

like my dysphoria was always sort of mild and unnoticeable and maybe even went in both ways (meaning I felt I didn't want some feminine features sometimes depending on my mood). I'm starting to think maybe I'm somewhere on the agender spectrum?

ok now I'm having some real doubts about continuing hrt.... I don't know, I just don't want to end up messing myself over

ignore my last tweet i think i was wrong

I think maybe I'm really more nonbinary than a trans woman

i want to choose when I'd die. I don't want to be old and dying. I want to die suddenly, by my own choice, before I get to that point

I alluded to being trans to my mom and she said that 'there are way too many prettier girls out there for you to be a girl'. thanks mom like that's the most hurtful shit

also just mostly scared about some hrt effects.

ok so i'm having some doubts now, cuz like i'm pretty sure i'm not cīs but now i don't know the 'trans woman' label applies to me either. maybe i'm more nonbinary than previously expected

my ocd is acting up again

problem with tf2 for me is that asian servers are really just the same 20 players over and over again

i am trying to get into overwatch but i just had a game that was like the worst experience in gaming i ever had probably, and then i went to tf2 and had a blast so maybe i'll just stay at tf2

i dont wanna vent but

i sort of truly believe that i'm worth less than nothing, like everybody else is worth so much but me specifically has zero value

for a lot of reasons i legit wouldn't be alive now if they weren't around, like they're also the one friend who talked me through several ocd spirals

my only irl friend who knows that i'm trans just called me up and wished me a happy trans day of visibility i'm so thankful for them